It’s an All-Skate

Sunday afternoon I took Squig to Skate King.

I need not describe the venue to anyone raised in this area, as they already have a perfect mental picture of the joint throbbing in their forebrain. (It looks pretty much exactly as you remember it by the way, minus the Tempest machine.) For the rest: SK is a roller rink which, in the 70′s and 80′s, was thee place for get-togethers of all kinds: birthdays, school functions, funerals, etc. Judging from yesterday’s crowd its popularity remains largely undiminished, even if its webpage has not been updated since its creation in ’73.

This was my first time at SK since … well, let’s put it this way: the last time I was there, “Relax” by Frankie Goes to Hollywood was in the top 40. I am not just picking a arbitrary song to represent the early eighties, but actually recall this being played at a school-sponsored “Skate Party” I attended. I distinctly remember the horrified expression on the faces of parents, when the music was interrupted by spraying noises and all the seventh-graders in the rink joined Frankie in yelling “Come!!” (True story.)

Squig, on the other hands, had never worn roller skate before. If you are a parent and have not yet put your child on wheels, you need to do so immediately because it is high-larious. I seriously could not stop laughing at my only begotten son. It was as if his legs ended into two tiny terriers that were just running around and round in circles, completely independent of one another.

By the end of the hour he could stand by himself long enough for a picture to be taken, so long as he did not move or respirate or blink.

(I do not know why he looks like a level 3 lich in this photo.)

Squig was not alone in his roller-ineptitude; Skate King is like the Large Hadron Collider, with nine-year-olds in the role of particles. Imagine a live production of America’s Funniest Home Videos and you are 80% there.

Anyway, we had a good time. Well I did, at least. It was refreshing to find a place in Seattle where you can sing along to Katy Perry’s “Fireworks” at the top of your lungs without having to defend your knowledge of the lyrics.

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8 comments.

  1. This is undoubtedly why we would spend hours after work under the old US Pavilion in downtown Riverfront Park (Spokane) during the winter, skating while my dad ran rings around us.

    True story: while falling down I grabbed a complete stranger’s hand to save myself. Immediate horror on both our parts. I apologized and promptly fell down as I should have initially.

  2. OMG, I can’t believe you didn’t post a video!

  3. I’m pretty sure you came to my birthday party at Skate King circa 1999 (give or take a year) when one of our friends fell down so many times she had to sit on a pillow for the rest of the night.

  4. I remember seeing Surgical Steel at this very same Great Skate in 1985. Last year I took my kids there for the first time, it is truly a piece of Phoenix suburbia history – hasn’t changed in 30 years!

  5. as another fully hetero male, father of two, thank you for admitting the Katie Perry knowledge/singing. i feel you.

  6. Your boy looks like he might be fond of terrapins.

  7. his expression looks like the “i like turtles” kid haha

  8. [...] communication. Our most meaningful interactions are physical: wrestling, tickling, swimming, rolling skating. He is way into dancing right [...]

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