defective yeti on Twitter

If you are still checking this site (??) but don’t follow me on Twitter, you may wish to do so. That is where I have been “writing” recently, if thumb-typing jokes into a phone can be construed as such.


In protest of SOPA I haven’t updated my blog in like six years.
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin

That said, I have some new content lined up for dy soon, including a review of Risk Legacy (a new version of the classic wargame with perhaps the craziest gimmick I’ve ever seen), and the resumption of the H. P. Lovefest (in preparation for my article on the author).

Until then, here’s some wiseassery to tide you over.


I adopted an “all paper” strategy in Rock, Paper, Scissors tournaments and have been making money hand over fist.
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin


I’d be less likely to think “isn’t it ironic?” than “why the fuck did I buy 10,000 spoons?”
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin


I always look sad in posed photos because my father was killed by cheese.
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin


Mark wrote books and Shania wrote songs and never the Twain shall meet.
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin


I need a smartphone with a built-in breathalyzer that can disable the Amazon mobile app.
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin


A good rule of thumb is one per hand.
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin


I’ll vote for whichever presidential candidate promises a 50’s-era Superman movie starring Jon Hamm.
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin


I opened a Stationary Store, but can’t seem to move any merchandise.
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin


I was going to buy one of those dancing video games but remembered that I already own alcohol and an mp3 of Robyn’s “Call Your Girlfriend”.
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin


I was with my father yesterday and he said something really insightful. Probably. I don’t know, I was dicking around with my phone.
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin


Try my new mixed drink, the Resolution Backslide. It’s one part weight-loss shake, one part Kahlúa.
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin


If 2012 is “the year the world ends”, 2011 is surely “the year everyone became pretty much okay with that”.
@matthewbaldwin
Matthew Baldwin

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6 comments.

  1. It occurs to me that only old fashioned people read RSS.

    Also, if Henny Youngman comes back from the dead I think there’s a job for you selling him your one-liners.

  2. I read defective yeti on google reader – and check the site when I need to (for instance, when the RSS feed doesn’t display stuff, as for this post)…
    And I still haven’t understood what the point of Twitter is..

    Old-fashioned! and proud of it actually!

  3. One-liners are good, but they’re not DY.

  4. If I could read this via FIDONET I would. That said, I’m looking forward to your Risk: Legacy review. My gaming group is 3 games into the campaign.

  5. Yer funny.

  6. NO NO NO NO NO: It is spelled stationery. With an E. GAH.

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