Ten Lines From the State of the Union Speech that are Improved by Mentally Inserting “Hand” Before “Jobs”

“Think about the America within our reach: a country that leads the world in educating its people, an America that attracts a new generation of high-tech manufacturing and high-paying jobs”

“If you’re a business that wants to outsource jobs, you shouldn’t get a tax deduction for doing it.”

“Technology made businesses more efficient, but also made some jobs obsolete.”

“A few weeks ago, the CEO of Master Lock told me that it now makes business sense for him to bring jobs back home.”

“Give more young people the chance to earn their way through college by doubling the number of work-study jobs in the next five years.”

“This country needs an all-out, all-of-the-above strategy that develops every available source of American energy – a strategy that’s cleaner, cheaper, and full of new jobs.”

“Join me in a national commitment to train two million Americans with skills that will lead directly to a job.”

“Tonight, my message to business leaders is simple: ask yourselves what you can do to bring jobs back to your country, and your country will do everything we can to help you succeed.”

“Michelle and Jill Biden have worked with American businesses to secure a pledge of 135,000 jobs for veterans and their families.”

“We should support everyone who’s willing to work; and every risk-taker and entrepreneur who aspires to become the next Steve Jobs.”

* * *

3 comments.

  1. The fact that no one has commented on this yet is unforgivable. Steve Hand Jobs is comic gold.

  2. Thank you for a good laugh today – I am sharing this with my open-minded friends.

  3. I laughed at every one of these, in spite of myself.

    “… a national commitment to train two million Americans with skills that will lead directly to…” is killer.

Post a comment.