Twitter Tuesday

First full day of world peace, and I’ve got to admit it’s been pretty sweet. Thanks Madonna!!

@matthewbaldwin

Matthew Baldwin


Small dogs are overpriced luxury items that are adored well beyond their utility. Kinda surprised Apple hasn’t tapped that market.

@matthewbaldwin

Matthew Baldwin


Good people want their funeral to be a celebration. Bad people need not worry.

@matthewbaldwin

Matthew Baldwin


First bike ride of the year, first sundresses of the year. My tank of optimism is again on F.

@matthewbaldwin

Matthew Baldwin


We should emphasize the fun parts of existentialism by calling ourselves yay!theists.

@matthewbaldwin

Matthew Baldwin


I am a high energy individual, insofar as fat is stored energy.

@matthewbaldwin

Matthew Baldwin



The Facebook IPO gives you the unique opportunity to own part of a company that sells you as its product.

@matthewbaldwin

Matthew Baldwin


What’s the difference between orange juice and a child with ADD? You can make orange juice concentrate.

@matthewbaldwin

Matthew Baldwin


I invented a web browser for sharks. There’s no Back button, only Forward.

@matthewbaldwin

Matthew Baldwin

2 thoughts on “Twitter Tuesday

  1. It is as though Twitter’s creeping tentacles have slithered across unknowable gulfs of freezing black nothingness, DY the sole object of their unholy fascination, mindless sensory suck-pad-thingies questing and fastening on their prey with the horrific slurpage of viscous liquid suction.

    (This was hard to compose. There should be a Lovecraft translator a la hillbilly, etc. (If there is, don’t tell me.))

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