Numero Uno

Me: You taught yourself to play guitar? A: In college. I wanted to impress girls. Me: Ah. You had an ulterior motive. A: Not really. Me: But you learned guitar specifically to impress girls. A: In college, "wanting to impress girls" is the primary motive for learning guitar. An example of an ulterior motive would be, "and I thought I'd

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Shall Remain Nameless

Me: Sorry, what's your name again? Him: You've forgotten my name? Me: Yes. But don't take it personally. I mean, I totally remember you. I am just terrible with names. The worst. Him: Okay. Me: And not only the names of people, either. Geographic names. Street names. Can't remember them, any of them. Him: Okay. Me: And also figures. Like,

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Going Down

Conversation with a friend, as we walk to the elevators:Friend: So, what are you up to this weekend? Me: Saturday we are going to the Chihuly museum. Friend: Oh, you know it's not just Chihuly, right? It's devoted to glass in general. Me: No, I hadn't realized. Friend: Yeah, they even have a glass blowing room, where you can see

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The Bright Side

The Queen, observing the crowd demographics as we arrived at the Seattle Cinerama for the premiere of Iron Man: "Well, at least there won't be a line for the ladies room ..."

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As Advertised

The Queen IMs me at work:Queen: hey Me: What's up? Q: Bored Q: I called our insurance company, and have been on hold for like five minutes Q: They are playing classic rock. Right now I am listening to "Can't Get No Satisfaction" Q: OH THE IRONY

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Apples and Oranges

Being married to a professional botanist has its ups and downs. It's nice on day hikes, for instance, having someone around who can instantly identify every plant we see. On the other hand, I don't need to be notified of every ecological incongruence in the films we watch. The Queen spent much of the Lord of the Rings trilogy leaning

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Shivic Duty

I am on jury duty today. Again. Third time in five years. Random selection my ass. As I walked through the metal detectors at the King County Superior Courthouse this morning, a security guard beckoned me over.Guard: Is that a keycard on your waist? Me: Wha-? Oh, yeah. It's from my work. I just kind of habitually clipped it on

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