Forecast: Divorce

We in Seattle enjoyed torrential rains Saturday and Sunday. This morning, in the elevator, I overheard this conversation:Man: So, what did you do this weekend? Woman: Went to a wedding. An outdoor wedding. Man: Oh, god. That must have been fun. Woman: Yeah, it was pretty bad. The bride was totally pissed at the groom because of the rain. Man:

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Where’s Keith When You Need ‘Em?

A woman is giving me her personal information over the phone:"First name: Janet; Last name: Oakley. Email address: jaoakley@yahoo.com; that's J as in James, A as in Andrew, O as in Oscar, A as in Andrew, K as in, uhhhhhhhhh, Welcomebackkotter ..."

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Riposted

The Queen: Do you want to watch America's Next Top Model with me. Me: Ah, no. I did that once in my lifetime, so I'm good, thanks. The Queen: Oh, come on. Me: Sorry, but I just don't understand the appeal of a bunch of stupid people prancing around like idiots and blurting out whatever damned-fool thing flitters through their

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Encounter at the Intersection of Maudlin and Geek

Squiggle and I are strolling through a park, and I am singing Daisy Bell to him. As I near the end of the song, we approach a middle-aged woman, who is walking briskly in the opposite direction. She suddenly stops dead in her tracks and stares, dumbfounded, as I belt out the last few words.Woman: Were ... were you just

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Fool And His Money II

The Queen and I chat:The Queen: Your post about the Susan B. Anthony coins was pretty funny. Me: Thanks. You know, I heard they are coming out with a new dollar coin. Q: Why do they bother? No one wants to carry those around. M: I do. I'd much rather carry around coins than dollar bills. Q: Oh yeah, that

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Fool And His Money

Coworker One: The vending machine is giving out Susan B. Anthony coins. Coworker two: Mm? Coworker One: Yeah. I put in a five, and got four of these back as change. It usually gives you those Sacagawea coins--I've never seen it give Susan B's before. Coworker two: I've never seen a Susan B. Anthony coin in my life. Coworker One:

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On Call

L: Help, I'm stuck on a boring conference call! Chat with me! Me: Um, okay. M: What should we chat about? {A minute goes by} M: Hello? {A minute goes by} M: What's the deal? Am I supposed to be chatting at you? {A minute goes by} M: OZYMANDIAS M: I met a traveller from an antique land M: Who

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You Say Tomato

My Pa-In-Law came to visit last weekend. At one point he was reading a small book.Me: What'cha readin'? Pa-In-La: The manual for the router I just bought. I'm trying to figure out how to set it up. M: [Sighs inwardly at the cluelessness of this generation regarding the fundamentals of networking] Maybe I can help. How many PCs are you

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