Seriously, Dog

NPR's Morning Edition carried a story about the boom in energy drinks and their offspring:The latest caffeine product takes a new form: It's a stamp-sized gel sheet that dissolves in the mouth like a breath freshener. The product, called Sheets, is sort of like an energy drink without the water. A promotional video shows NBA star LeBron James, in black

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The Most Important Thing of the Things We Eat

This morning I made French Toast Surprise. Here is the recipe: In a large mixing bowl, beat 4 eggs. Add 3/4 cup milk, 3 Tbsp. brown sugar, and 1 tsp. nutmeg; stir well to combine.Soak bread slices in the egg mixture until saturated. Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Brown on both sides.Accidentally sprinkle

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Most Popular Halloween Costume 2009

Ya heard it here first: Oh shut up, you so totally know I'm right. This is going to be so big it'll be like the love child of the Joker and Palin costumes from 2008. Small groups of dedicated but tasteless college students are even now rehearsing their choreographed Thriller dance.

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Falling Asleep

We spent the weekend in Portland. On the drive down we saw no less than four abandoned mattresses by the side of the road. The Washington State Department of Transportation should gather these and put them all in a single location. Not only would this help to keep our highways clean, but then skydivers with faulty parachutes would have someplace

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Woodwind Hero

Harmonix should release a new video game for the Xbox called "Marching Band". The target market would be kids who played guitar in high school, went on to form actual rock bands, and are curious to know what it's like to not get laid.

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Rule 3.18

I had a racquetball game this afternoon against an opponent I was sure I had faced before on the ladder. He said otherwise. "No, I'm good with faces," he assured me. "I'd remember if we'd played." Still, I was fairly confident that, not only that we'd met prior, but that there was something distinctly memorable about him, some unique characteristic

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Halloween: What’s My Clone Code?

In the early 80's, at the height "child abduction" hysteria (and you kids thought CNN invented the culture of fear), our local TV station ran a series of commercials introducing the "Kid Code." The concept was simple. Whenever a skeevy man wearing a hat and fake mustache approached you with a fistful of lollypops, you'd shout "What's my kid code?

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Scare Tactics

I'm going to start 991, an emergency hotline for people who have the hiccups. "Oh my god!" I'll scream at the people who phone in. "A killer is calling from inside your house!!" I'm also going to start a support line for People Who Do Not Currently Have A Song Jammed Into Their Head. It will just play this, 24/7.

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Pet Peeves

Hey Science, thanks for the hypoallergenic cats. That's terrific, really. High fives all around. But hey, small request? While you're in there messing around with meow-meow genes, could you also program them NOT TO INCESSANTLY MEW AT 6:17 IN THE MORNING???! Because that would be great. Thirty bonus points if you can apply the process to existing cats, so we

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