So I Called Up The Captain

I just set my cellphone's ringtone to Hotel California. Man, I love that song. My favorite part is the fadeout at the very end. So awesome. I could listen to it a million times and not get tired of it. Anyway, if you call and it takes me six minutes and eight seconds to pick up, that's what's going on.

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Things Not To Say

I went over to a friend's house the other day, where we ate a bunch of pizza and then played 120 minutes of Power Grid. I knew most of the players, but two of them were a rather prim couple I had never met before. After the game was over, I opened one of the pizza boxes and, discovering that

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Your Amazon.com Order is Being Prepared for Shipping

Greetings from Amazon.com. We thought you would like to know that we are preparing the following items for shipment: --------------------------------------------------------------------- Qty Item --------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows --------------------------------------------------------------------- Yes sir, tomorrow is the big day. July 21. The release of the final installment in the Harry Potter seventology, or whatever the hell it's called. Oh man, you

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Wish-I-Could-Draw Comics!

Panel 1: Captain America, The Hulk, Wasp, Thor, and Iron Man converge on a box. CAPTAIN AMERICA(shouting)Avengers Assemble!Panel 2: The box, reading "IKEA," sits off to the side. The Avengers are sitting, bending over, and kneeling, looking quizzical, holding pieces of pine. Panel 3: The Avengers are still trying to put the pieces together; a few are attached. Panel 4:

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