Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

Annual Call of Slacker Guide Items I'm working on my annual Holiday Survival Guide For Slackers for The Morning News, and I'm looking for suggestions. So if you know of some stupid crap available for purchase on the intarweb, please mention it in the comments of this post or drop me an email. Thanks! Previous Slacker's Guides 20072004 20062003 20052002

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Tuesday Afternoon Scratchpad

Building A Bridge to the Late 20th Century An excerpt from Hillary Clinton's Super Tuesday speech, delivered a moment ago:I hope all of you will join our campaign at double-you double-you double-you dot hillaryclinton dot com. Because you know that politics isn't a game. It's not about who's up or who's down. It's about your lives, your families, your futures.Seriously,

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Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

Comments(0) Email:To: matthew@defectiveyeti.com From: mustaphawaziri5@virgilio.it Subject: THE STORY OF MY LIFE, PLEASE READ!!!Jesus Christ, these bloggers are getting more aggressive every year. Sorry, Man Quack Because I am a staunch opponent of animal cruelty, I've decided to stop using KY jelly. I recently learned that it is made by taking an adorable little ducky and cutting off its first three

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Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

Tap Dance This Domestic Surveillance story is the gift that keeps on giving. First they assured us that they weren't tapping any phones without a warrant; then we discover that, well, okay, they were recording some conversations without a warrant, but only a few; now come to find out that the phone records of millions of Americans were requisitioned. It's

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Friday Afternoon Scrachpad

Practice What Your Preach Today I saw a guy in a "Rage Against The Machine" t-shirt angrily slapping the side of an ATM. Venomous Verdict Dear Peoples of Teh IntarWeb: you can stop sending me this quotation for inclusion in the Bad Review Revue:"If it had been called V for Vasectomy I could scarcely have found it a less enjoyable

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Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

Do-It-Yourself Oscar Pool Creator In case you missed the announcement: the Do-It-Yourself Oscar Pool Creator is available here. The Spheniscidae Candidate The flight from Seattle to D.C. only took 4½; hours, as we had a 100 knots-per-hour tail wind; consequentially, the return trip took 6½ hours. It was so long that they showed two films: March of the Penguins and

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Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

I can do a pretty good impression of the lead vocalist for The Psychedelic Furs. As I've gotten older, though, I've found that the demonstration of this skill impresses fewer and fewer girls. As long as we're talking about banning people from using cell phones while driving, can we also prevent people from driving around with small dogs in their

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Friday Afternoon Scrachpad

Another Item On My Lifetime 'To-Do' List Establish a retirement community for washed-up comedians and call it "Wise Acres" Our Product Will Make Your Teeth Fall Out From: Lamar <pxtmlyrpnzgzgz@pochta.com> To: matthew@defectiveyeti.com Subject: DREAMS OUR PRODUCT WILL MAKE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE click here!! From: matthew@defectiveyeti.com To: Lamar <pxtmlyrpnzgzgz@pochta.com> Subject: Re: DREAMS Thanks for the email, Lamar, but that

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Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

Oscar Pool Creator In case you missed it, my annual "Make-Yer-Own Oscar Pool Page" is here. Thank You Mr. Bus Driver I almost missed my bus yesterday. As it was pulling away from the curb I ran alongside it, waving my arm, and the driver kindly brought the behemoth to a stop and allowed me to board. Moments later, as

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This, That, and the Other

As a follow-up to my Silvergirl Research Day entry below, I ask you, the dy reading public: what albums were you raised on? For me it was Bridge Over Troubled Water by S&G and -- lord help me -- Anne Murray's Greatest Hits. (The latter was a 45. Ha! (except the laugh is probably on me since I bet a

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