Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

The defective yeti How To Drink Without Becoming An Alcoholic Program My coworker told me his new year's resolution: he had decided to only drink once a week. No, I replied. No, no, no. I tried this, and it's a bad idea, here's why: one, you'll fall off the wagon by February 13; and two, you'll probably fall off the

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Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

Allow Me To Apologize In Advance Until recently the Seattle Symphony only performed works by a single composer: The Brandenburg Concertos, The Art of Fugue, The Goldberg Variations, etc. But when audiences started complaining about the lack of variety, the conductor decided to think outside of the Bachs. Dumb One of my coworkers is deaf. When we see each other

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Monday Morning Blah Blah Blah

Living My Dreams This morning I had a chocolate chocolate-chip muffin for breakfast. And for lunch I had macaroni & cheese, chicken strips and Coke. When I was six, this is pretty much what I envisioned adult life to be. Budget Crunches Last night some friends and I were sitting around drinking beer and, it goes without saying, discussing the

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Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

In A Slump April 24th is "Bring Your Kid To Work Day," which is, like, a total rip-off because I, personally, don't have a kid. I thought about bringing my four-year old nephew to work that day and introducing him to my coworkers, because it would be fun, when my colleagues said "I didn't know you had children," to reply

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Friday Afternoon Scrachpad

Oscar Tool: Better Late than Never Well, it's a few weeks too late to be of much use, and I've done only the bare minimum of testing, but the Make-Yer-Own Oscar Pool Page is finally up and running. Please report any and all bugs to me. Hog Heaven Our old "Half Pint" microwave was taking upwards of fifteen minutes to

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Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

Politics of Parking Here's the deal, people. If you are parallel parking on a busy street, and you are blocking traffic as a result, you get one try. One. We'll patiently stop and wait while you take a crack at it, but if you miscalculate your turn radius or your angle of entry or whatever, and you wind up with

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Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

Thing That I am Sure Exists Even Before I Conduct a Google Search To Try and Find It Freeway Karaoke Machine: A microphone / headphones / headset device that you can plug into your car radio and sing into while you drive. It strips the vocal track out of songs and puts your own voice in it's place. Google says

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Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

Do The Math Estimated Number of Fun-Size Candybars My Wife And I Had In Our Trick-Or-Treat Bowl At 5:00 Yesterday Evening: 25 Number of Trick-or-Treat'er We Received all Night: 2 Average Number of Fun-Sized Candybars Given to Each Trick-or-Treat'er: 2 Estimated Number of Fun-Size Candybars My Wife And I Had In Our Trick-Or-Treat Bowl At 11:00 Yesterday Evening: 0 Estimated

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