I Find It Kind of Funny, I Find It Kind of Sad

A friend loaned me his copy of MadWorld for the Wii. Fun game, but ridiculously, comically, waaay-over-the-toply violent. If Congress ever sees this game they will outlaw pixels. It's so bad that I've been hiding it from my wife like porn, playing it only when she's elsewhere in the house. Which has led to some awkward moments. I frantically fumble

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Tears and Gears

I just watched The Road while on the trainer. If the biathlon was "cycling and sobbing", I'd be in Canada right now wearing a bronze at least. While consoling me immediately afterward, The Queen said, “I am not laughing because you are crying. I am laughing because you smell terrible.”

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The Secret

Me: Hey, it's February 17th The Queen: And? Me: And it's our wedding anniversary. The Queen: Oops.You know, I'm just going to assume that the "Oops" was in reference to her forgetting the date and not to her original decision to get hitched. In fact, I strongly suspect that such assumptions are how we're remained together for eight years.

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Bureaucracy

  So lemmie tell you about the (mostly healed, in this photograph) wound on my forehead. Kind of a funny story. Last week The Queen and I rearranged the furniture in our bedroom, to make space for my new Craftsman 1470 pc. Professional Tool Set. (I like to store it all laid out like that, so I can easily find

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We Hates It, We Hates It Forever

In bed reading, before we turn off the light:Me: Oh hey, guess what: Guillermo del Toro might direct The Hobbit. The Queen: Oh. M: Yeah, and they are going to break the novel up into two movies. Q: [Returning her attention to her book] Mm. M: Ah c'mon, I thought you'd be interested. You loved Pan's Labyrinth. Q: Yeah, but

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Apples and Oranges

Being married to a professional botanist has its ups and downs. It's nice on day hikes, for instance, having someone around who can instantly identify every plant we see. On the other hand, I don't need to be notified of every ecological incongruence in the films we watch. The Queen spent much of the Lord of the Rings trilogy leaning

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Insufficiently Shy

The Queen, after reading yesterday's post:Q: You're playing raquetball? What is this, the eighties? M: Lots of people still play racquetball. It's one of the most popular activities at my gym. It's a great cardiovascular workout, exercises all major muscle, and is a lot of fun. Q: Sorry, wasn't listening. I had a Kajagoogoo song stuck in my head.

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Ice Queen

The Queen rubs the top of her head and makes the ow-that-hurts air-through-the-teeth noise.Me: What's wrong? Q: I have a bump on my head and it's getting bigger. Feel it. {I engage in some impromptu phrenology} M: Wow, that's a good 'un. How did you get it? Q: I got hit by a block of ice. M: Did it knock

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I’m A-Start Some Drama

I walked into the kitchen this morning to find The Queen groggily gathering coffee-making accoutrements. "Wha'cha gonna do wit all dat junk?" I asked her. "All dat junk inside yo trunk?" She scowled at me as a reminder of the household's "no conversation before caffeine" rule, but then asked, "What are you saying?" "No no, that was all wrong" I

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The Final Word

In my post about The Squirrelly's burgeoning language skills, I neglected to mention that The Queen and I recently established his first word. It happened during a conversation with a friend of ours.Friend: What was The Squirrelly's first word? Me: "Kitty." The Queen: "Mama." M: [To Queen] Well, really he started saying "kitty" first. Q: [To friend] It was "mama."

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