Down In The Mouth

Remember that moment, twenty minutes into The Phantom Menace, when you got that sickening feeling as you realized that the rest of this story was not only going to suck, but it was going to be so bad that it would retroactively ruin all the enjoyable stuff that had come before it? I think that's pretty much how The Squirrelly

Read more

Me And The Queen, At The Movies

Capsule reviews for the last three films we've seen on DVD: Sky Captain And the World Of Tomorrow:M: As a long-time fan of "1950's science-fiction," I was prepared to love this Sky Captain despite its lukewarm critical reception. And the first hour of exposition lived up to my expectations. But as it became increasingly clear that exposition was all the

Read more

Ah, Homophones

We bathe The Squirrelly after his dinner, and the foodstuff he is invariably covered in eventually accumulates in the basin, leading to conversations like this:Me: Can you watch the baby for a few minutes? I want to clean the bathtub. The Queen: Is it dirty? M: Yeah, it's full of pea. Q: The Squirrelly peed in the bathtub? M: Hah.

Read more

Adventures in Communication

The Queen, The Squirrelly and I were taking a day hike. A mile into the forest we encountered a women who was standing off to the side of the trail and talking on her cell. About an hour later, as we were coming back, we saw the same woman in the same spot, still yammering into her phone. "She got

Read more

The Burdens Of Parenthood

The Queen:"I took The Squirrelly to the hospital today for his second flu shot. After he got it I was out in the waiting room getting ready to leave, and there was this old lady sitting near us. And she starts asking me all these questions, like 'how old is he?' and 'how much does he weight?' -- but not

Read more

Vital Signs

This evening's "how was your day" conversation:The Queen: I made a major faux pas in baby sign-language class. Me: What happened? Q: Well, all of the women in the class are super religious, and one of them asked what the sign was for "Jesus." And the teacher said that you touch the palm of your left hand with your right

Read more

Monkeyshines

The Queen and I hang out with Michelle:Michelle: What's your kid up to these days? Me: Crawling. Like, all over the freakin' place. Queen: And he's losing his monkey toes. Michelle: His what? Queen: You know, if you touch the sole of a newborn baby's foot how his toes will kind of curl up around your finger? Like he's trying

Read more

Guitar Pick

We discuss childrearing.The Queen: The Squirrelly really loves that music class we go to. Me: Oh? Q: Yeah. The teacher plays guitar, and he loves guitar. She even gives lessons to kids, starting at age four, so we might want to sign him up for those when he gets older. I'm thinking he should play guitar or violin. Except violin

Read more

Three Month Update

Chatting with The Queen.The Queen: Hey, when are you going to do the three month update for The Squirrelly? Me: The "three month update?" What do you mean? Q: On your site. M: Still not following. Q: On defective yeti you write those updates every month on The Squirrelly's birthday, remember? And he's three months old, now. So when are

Read more

Rock The Poot

The Queen and I talk politics:Me: Uhn, I can't believe we hafta go through six more months of this presidential comapign. The Queen: I know. The TV ads are terrible. M: Are they? I haven't seen them. Q: Yeah, they're awful. Every one ends with "I'm blah-blah-blah, and I approved this ad." It's so stupid. M: I think they have

Read more