Butteryfingers

FADE IN INT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT MATTHEW and THE QUEEN are sitting on a couch in their living room, 20 minutes into the Season 2.5 finale of BATTLESTAR GALACTIC. They both appear to be ON EDGE, as if ANTICIPATING something. SOUND EFFECT: THE DISTANT RATTLE OF A TINY HAND STRUGGLING TO TURN AN ADULT-SIZED DOORKNOB The ratting continues

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Holiday Post-Mortem

Hi! Sorry about that. The fam'bly and I took a bit of a holiday vacation there, and I've been largely off the grid since mid December. Wait, what does "off the grid" mean, exactly? Does it mean "without access to the Internet?" Or does it mean "completely without electricity?" In retrospect, the latter sounds more likely. But, whatever: we bloggers

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Picture Day

I was surfing Flickr and stumbled upon this photo.Naturally, I immediately emailed it to everyone I knew. It seemed to elicit two distinct responses. Some immediately boarded the lollercoaster; others said they could hardly look at the photo, it made them so sad. I don't think it's a coincidence that parents were largely of the first opinion, and folks without

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Kitten Love

In my recent post about The Squirrelly's criminal tendencies, I included a photo of the kid wrasslin' with (and losing to) his stuffed kitty. This prompted one reader to comment:why does the cat look like it god blood all over it and wasnt cleaned to well?Good question. I couldn't have typed it better myself. As the many sticklers for spelling,

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Project Management

Here's an easy way to determine which couples are the parents of toddlers: listen for the people who describe five-minute tasks in terms of "a project."You: What are you guys up to this evening? Couple That May Be The Parents Of A Toddler: The batteries in our remote control died, so we'll be replacing those tonight. Not that we ever

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And You Shall Know Him By The Trail Of Stuffed

No parent wants to think that the choices they are making will result in their child someday going on a seven state killing spree. But a couple of our recent decisions have left The Queen and I wondering. First, we got him toy at a garage sale which allows him to mix-and-match a variety of head, torso, and foot pieces

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Myth Buster!

We're trying to toilet train The Squirrelly, but it's tough going. He knows how to pee (does he ever) and he knows how to sit on the potty, but the idea of doing both simultaneously hasn't quite clicked. On the rare occasions that it happens accidentally we praise him to the heavens and generally act as though his pissing in

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Prodigal Son

It took Michelangelo eleven months to cover the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel with a series of dizzyingly elaborate patters and illustrations, and he required a team of five painters to do it. The Squirrelly must be some kind of prodigy, because he managed to do essentially the same thing to the hard wood floor in our kitchen in about

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Nor Do I Pee Maple Syrup

I've never considered myself to be good at improv, and an incident this morning did nothing to change that opinion. I was preparing The Squirrelly's breakfast this morning, and I decided to give him a choice of entree. "Do you want oatmeal or a waffle with jam?" I asked. "Waffle with jam!" he said enthusiastically. "Coming right up," I replied.

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