Adventure Capital

Here's a thing I wrote for The Morning News: Adventure Capital. Wholly unrelated: go listen to the audio clips here. A little additional context: Dave Niehaus is a loooongtime Seattle Mariners commentator; Mike Blowers is a former third baseman who recently joined the broadcasting team. Rounding out the commentation trio is Rick Rizzs. Matt Tuiasosopo was called up from the

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Purported Hart Tape Urges Al-Qaeda To ‘Never Surrender’

An new audiotape encouraging Al-Qaeda resistance is said to have been recorded by fugitive Corey Hart. The 4 minute, 52 second communication, broadcast today on Al Jazeera, told listeners that "no one can take away your right to fight," further urging that they "never surrender." The US terror alert level was raised from yellow to orange after the release of

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Lost in the Maze

defective yeti's readership has been dwindling in recent weeks, because so many of my regular visitors have been captured by Evil Supervillians and thrown into giant mazes, where they wander around aimlessly for days before perishing a slow and agonizing death by dehydration. In an attempt to salavage what reader base I have left, I offer you this tip. As

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Angst-igator

Yesterday I cooked a hot dog and then discovered that all my hot dog buns were moldy. So I had to eat it on a hamburger bun. Ergo, you can expect this week's posts to be all goth and angsty.

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Yeah, Baby!

Hello friend. You and I have been close for years now, and I would hate for anything to come between us. But I sense trouble on the horizon. That's why I decided to address a potential problem even before it arises. This is the situation: A new Austin Powers movie is out, and -- NO! NO NO NO! Don't say

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100 Things About Me!

People are always sending me email, saying, "Matthew, with your endless barrage of smarm and near incoherence, we never really get to learn anything about you." Well that ends today, friends! By popular demand: 100 Things About Me!My name is Matthew Baldwin! I live in Seattle! I am 31 years old! I am married! I have a cat named Louie!

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