Dream The Improbable Dream

Upon being awakened by The Squirrelly’s fussing around 2:30 on Sunday morning, The Queen and I groggily compared notes:

Me: In my dream I was the star of a line of children’s DVDs that taught kids how to make fajitas.

The Queen: In my dream I was being bitten on the ankle by a monkey in a Thai restaurant.

That wife of mine, always with the one-upsmanship.

Last night I dreamt that The Queen and I were on an Amazing-Race-esque reality program called Hot Lava, where participants had to get from Seattle to Miami without using any vehicles and without ever touching the ground. We were far in the lead, because while the other teams were traveling the old-fashioned way (hopping from car to car to cross parking lots, for example), we had cleverly thought to bring along two large sofa cushions, and were using them leapfrog-style to traverse plains of Colorado at a fairly good clip.

The Magician

A little over a decade ago, in the final days of Bill Bixby’s life when he on the cover of many tabloids and weeklies (“Bill’s Heroic Battle Against Cancer!”), I was standing in in line at the supermarket behind a woman and her young daughter. The mother pointed to Bixby’s picture on one of the magazines and said “Do you see that man? When I was a your age I had the biggest crush on him. He was on a show called The Courtship Eddie’s Father, and couldn’t wait to grow up and marry him.”

Although I don’t make a habit of talking to strangers in the grocery store, I couldn’t resist saying, “It’s probably best you didn’t — he had one heck of a temper. You wouldn’t have liked him when he was angry.”

To which the woman deadpanned: “That’s not the Bill I loved.”

(I was reminded of this story by a recent discussion on “TV Crushes” at a site I frequent. For the record, the earliest crush I recall having was on Caroline Ellis, who played Joy on The Bugaloos. I distinctly remember my eight year-old heart racing whenever I watched the show.)