{"id":2081,"date":"2002-05-29T09:13:09","date_gmt":"2002-05-29T16:13:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=2081"},"modified":"2002-05-29T09:13:09","modified_gmt":"2002-05-29T16:13:09","slug":"who-wants-a-jelly-donut","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2002\/05\/29\/who-wants-a-jelly-donut\/","title":{"rendered":"Who Wants a Jelly Donut?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m feeling a little under the weather, so I&#8217;m drinking echinacea tea this morning in lieu of coffee.  Echinacea tastes awful but apparently has some astounding curative properties.  As near as I can tell, here&#8217;s how those curative properties work:  if you deny yourself coffee and instead ingest this disgustingly foul substance each time you get sick, eventually you body will learn to never, ever get sick &#8212; not unlike a housecat who gets squirted with water whenever he pees on your slippers.<\/p>\n<p>As further incentive I&#8217;ve decided that, from here on out, I&#8217;m going to reward my body with a jelly donut every morning that it is not sick.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m feeling a little under the weather, so I&#8217;m drinking echinacea tea this morning in lieu of coffee. Echinacea tastes awful but apparently has some astounding curative properties. As near as I can tell, here&#8217;s how those curative properties work: if you deny yourself coffee and instead ingest this disgustingly foul substance each time you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2081","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2081","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2081"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2081\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2081"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2081"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2081"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}