Ninety year-old neighbor<\/b>: “When I was little girl I was out walking with Brownie, the big, hairy dog that I had grown up with. We walked by a lake, which I think was the first time I’d ever taken Brownie by the water. Well, Brownie saw someone swimming and went crazy! He ran to the edge of a dock and leapt into the water and charged right at the swimmer. I didn’t know what to do, and everyone on the beach thought that Brownie was going to kill this person, so I panicked and jumped into the water after him.<\/p>\n
“Just before Brownie got to the swimmer he looked back, saw me, and turned right around. He grabbed my dress in his teeth and towed me to shore. I was soaked and mortified so I took Brownie straight home.<\/p>\n
“When I told my father what had happened, he laughed and said ‘Didn’t you know? Before we got Brownie he was a lifeguard. He was trained to sit by the lake and rescue people who were drowning.’ I had no idea! I was very proud of him. But I never took him to the lake again.”<\/p>\n
Friend who, along with his two-year daughter Juniper, spent an entire afternoon visiting<\/b>: “When we left your house and began to drive away Juniper said ‘I’m hungry.’ I said, ‘but we just spent two hours eating at Matthew’s house!’ And she said ‘Who’s Matthew?'”<\/p>\n
Recently wed acquaintance<\/b>: “We told my new inlaws that I was hoping to get pregnant soon, and my new father-in-law looks at me and says ‘Remember: grass won’t grow on a well-worn path.’ What the hell does that mean?!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ninety year-old neighbor: “When I was little girl I was out walking with Brownie, the big, hairy dog that I had grown up with. We walked by a lake, which I think was the first time I’d ever taken Brownie by the water. Well, Brownie saw someone swimming and went crazy! He ran to the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-storytelling"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2234","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2234"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2234\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2234"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2234"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2234"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}