{"id":2281,"date":"2002-10-31T15:49:15","date_gmt":"2002-10-31T22:49:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=2281"},"modified":"2002-10-31T15:49:15","modified_gmt":"2002-10-31T22:49:15","slug":"defective-yetis-halloween-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2002\/10\/31\/defective-yetis-halloween-tips\/","title":{"rendered":"defective yeti&#8217;s Halloween Tips"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>\n<div class='post'>It&#8217;s not enough to just dress like a Cheez-It, you have to really act the part.<\/p>\n<li>\n<div class='post'>Many women use Halloween as an excuse to dress up in skimpy, sexy outfits.  You should not be one of them.<\/p>\n<li>\n<div class='post'>Make sure your &#8220;Human Torch&#8221; costume is flame-retardant before setting it ablaze.<\/p>\n<li>\n<div class='post'>To avoid breaking fingers while stealing candy, grip a roll of quarters when punching other children.<\/p>\n<li>\n<div class='post'>Prevent stomachaches by eating no more than one Snickers bar per minute. <\/p>\n<li>\n<div class='post'>Stop sending me that jpg of the vomiting pumpkin or I will kill you.<\/p>\n<li>\n<div class='post'>Only put safety razors in apples.<\/p>\n<li>\n<div class='post'>It&#8217;s always a good idea to write your incantation down backwards on a piece of paper and keep it handy during the ritual, just in case you need to do a hasty unsummoning.<\/p>\n<li>\n<div class='post'>While Trick-or-Treating, it&#8217;s best to wear a bright, reflective vest over your Spider-Man costume to ensure that you look totally lame.<\/p>\n<li>\n<div class='post'>Oh my god!  Get out of the house!  The killer is calling <i>from upstairs<\/i>!!<\/ul>\n<div class='post'><i>I kinda stole that last one from this great <a href='http:\/\/a.wholelottanothing.org\/archived.blah\/10\/01\/2002#1030'> Whole Lotta Nothing entry<\/a>.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s not enough to just dress like a Cheez-It, you have to really act the part. Many women use Halloween as an excuse to dress up in skimpy, sexy outfits. You should not be one of them. Make sure your &#8220;Human Torch&#8221; costume is flame-retardant before setting it ablaze. To avoid breaking fingers while stealing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2281","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-observations"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2281"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2281"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2281"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2281"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}