{"id":2294,"date":"2002-11-13T14:48:31","date_gmt":"2002-11-13T21:48:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=2294"},"modified":"2002-11-13T14:48:31","modified_gmt":"2002-11-13T21:48:31","slug":"how-does-it-feel-when-you-got-no-401k","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2002\/11\/13\/how-does-it-feel-when-you-got-no-401k\/","title":{"rendered":"How Does It Feel When You Got No 401(k)?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hello Peter.  Please sit down.  You know Margaret, from Human Resources?  No?  Well, she&#8217;s the HR liaison for our group.  I&#8217;ve asked her to sit in on this meeting.<\/p>\n<p>Listen, I&#8217;ll get right to the point.  You&#8217;re been with us for &#8212; what? &#8212; four years now, isn&#8217;t it?  <i>Seven<\/i> years?!  Well, then, really Peter, you should know how we do things around here better than anyone.   You of all people should know that this company rules the nation with version.<\/p>\n<p>And an employee of your tenure should be well acquainted with this, our Standard Operating Procedures manual.  You have a copy of the SOP in your office, don&#8217;t you Peter?  Okay, well, do you know the Work Practice Regulations concerning the passing of the dutchie?  You&#8217;re nodding, but I&#8217;m not sure that you do, Peter.  Look here on page 433.  The dutchie, you&#8217;ll note, is to be passed on the left-hand side.  <i>Left<\/i>-hand, Peter.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I&#8217;ve received a number of reports from both employees and customers that you routinely pass the dutchie on the right-hand side, and sometimes will even pass it to the person sitting across from you.  That is simply unacceptable.  These Standard Operating Procedures are not, you know, are not <i>negotiable<\/i>, Peter.  The dutchie is to be passed on the left-hand side, end of story.<\/p>\n<p>This is your verbal warning; Margaret is here to note it in your record.  And you are now on a 30-day performance plan.  If your dutchie passing doesn&#8217;t  improve by the end of the month, I&#8217;m afraid I&#8217;ll have no choice but to explore other options, up to and possibly including termination.    Obviously I&#8217;m not happy about this.  This doesn&#8217;t make me jump and prance, Peter.  But I&#8217;m a bit of a stickler when it comes to the dutchie.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, well, that&#8217;s all I had to say.  I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;ll be passing the dutchie with greater care from here on out.  Now, if you could do me a favor, Peter:  on your way back to your desk could you ask Carl to step in here?  I understand he recently shot the sheriff and the deputy, so I&#8217;ll need to speak to him about that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hello Peter. Please sit down. You know Margaret, from Human Resources? No? Well, she&#8217;s the HR liaison for our group. I&#8217;ve asked her to sit in on this meeting. Listen, I&#8217;ll get right to the point. You&#8217;re been with us for &#8212; what? &#8212; four years now, isn&#8217;t it? Seven years?! Well, then, really Peter, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2294","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-favorite-posts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2294","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2294"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2294\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2294"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2294"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2294"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}