{"id":2354,"date":"2003-01-09T16:58:59","date_gmt":"2003-01-09T23:58:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=2354"},"modified":"2003-01-09T16:58:59","modified_gmt":"2003-01-09T23:58:59","slug":"i-know-something-you-dont-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2003\/01\/09\/i-know-something-you-dont-know\/","title":{"rendered":"I Know Something You Don’t Know"},"content":{"rendered":"

Scene<\/b>: Last week, after seeing The Two Towers<\/i> in the theater.<\/p>\n

The Queen<\/b>: I know who puts the ring in the Crack of Doom.<\/p>\n

Me<\/b>: You do?<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: Yes.<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: I don’t see how. You haven’t read the books.<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: I tried<\/i> to read the books! But they were really really boring. Stupid and boring.<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: Yes, I believe you’ve mentioned that several dozen times.<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: But it doesn’t matter, because I know who puts the ring in the Crack of Doom.<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: Okay.<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: It’s Sam.<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: Okay.<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: I’m right, aren’t I?<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: Why would it be Sam and not Frodo?<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: Because Frodo isn’t going to make it. He’s almost dead and there’s another three hour movie to go. Only Sam will make it.<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: Huh.<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: I’m right, aren’t I?<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: So you tell me.<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: I’m right.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Scene<\/b>: Last Tuesday, after rewatching The Fellowship of the Ring<\/i> on DVD.<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: Okay: now<\/i> I know who throws the ring in the Crack of Doom.<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: Who?<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: Aragorn.<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: Could be.<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: Because it’s his destiny. There’s that whole scene where they talk about that king that tried to put the ring in the Crack of Doom and couldn’t do it, and then later they said that Aragorn was the heir to the Throne of Whatever, and then he had the chance to take the ring from Frodo but he didn’t so he’s stronger than his grandfather so he could throw it into the Crack. It’s his destiny.<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: You seem pretty confident that someone destroys the ring. How do you know that Sauron doesn’t get it?<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: Shut up. It’s Aragorn.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Scene<\/b>: Last night, 20 minutes after we turned off the light, as I lay sleeping and The Queen apparently lay awake thinking.<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: Matt?<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: Mm?<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: Matt, I need to ask you something.<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: Mmf?<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: I need to ask you a question. And it’s important that you answer me.<\/p>\n

M<\/b>: [Suddenly wide awake and alarmed]: What is it?<\/p>\n

Q<\/b>: Who puts the ring into the Crack of Doom?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Postscript<\/b>: It would be cool if, at the end of Return of the King<\/i> when Sauron finally gets the ring, they played I Got The Power<\/a> by Snap, and Sauron could dance around and do the rap part (“it’s gettin’ kinda hectic!”) and then be all like, “BOOYAH! It your face, hobbits!!” I think that would really drive home how evil he is.<\/p>\n

(What? You didn’t know Sauron gets the ring and enslaves all of Middle Earth? Christ, I though The Queen was the only person who didn’t know the ending. Jeeze, sorry man. **spoilers!**<\/b> Sorry.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Scene: Last week, after seeing The Two Towers in the theater. The Queen: I know who puts the ring in the Crack of Doom. Me: You do? Q: Yes. M: I don’t see how. You haven’t read the books. Q: I tried to read the books! But they were really really boring. Stupid and boring. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-great-ideas","category-the-queen"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2354","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2354"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2354\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2354"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2354"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2354"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}