{"id":2412,"date":"2003-03-20T09:29:23","date_gmt":"2003-03-20T16:29:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=2412"},"modified":"2003-03-20T09:29:23","modified_gmt":"2003-03-20T16:29:23","slug":"waiting-for-togo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2003\/03\/20\/waiting-for-togo\/","title":{"rendered":"Waiting For Togo"},"content":{"rendered":"

Did you see Bush’s speech<\/a> last night, announcing the start of hostilities? This line, in particular, leapt out at me: “These are opening stages of what will be a broad and concerted campaign. More than 35 countries are giving crucial support.”<\/p>\n

Thirty-five?! Just yesterday Powell said<\/a> we had 45<\/i> nations (but admitted that a third of them “for one reason or another, do not wish to be publicly named”). What, did ten nations just not show up last night? “Okay, we’re rolling in seven minutes, people. Has anyone seen Bulgaria? Bulgaria? Anyone? What about Azerbaijan? Goddammit, Azerbaijan totally said they’d be here.”<\/p>\n

The full roster of “willing” (and nameable) nations, by the way, is<\/p>\n

Afghanistan, Albania, Australia, Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Colombia, the Czech Republic, Denmark, El Salvador, Eritrea, Estonia, Ethiopia, Georgia, Hungary, Italy, Japan, South Korea, Latvia, Lithuania, Macedonia, the Netherlands, Nicaragua, the Philippines, Poland, Romania, Slovakia, Spain, Turkey, the United Kingdom and Uzbekistan.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HERE COMES ERITREA YOU’RE FUCKED NOW SADDAM!!!!!!<\/p>\n

I like how Turkey magically became an ally, despite the fact that they turned down a 30 billion dollar bribe to use their bases. Do you think the US stuck Turkey on the list just so they’d have a number divisible by three? Without them, Powell would have had to say “We have the support of 44 nations, but 34.0909090909091% of them do not yet wish to be publicly named,” and then, shit, you might as well call the war “Operation Story Problem”.<\/p>\n

Plus, most of these guys aren’t even sending troops. This sounds like one of those coalitions that college roommates form, the kind where they all swear they are “willing” help clean up the house before moving, and then, on the 31st of the month, they contribute by leaving a half-empty can of “Easy Off” on the kitchen counter and mysteriously disappearing for the day.<\/p>\n

And I’m just talking about the known countries. What’s up with those that “do not wish to be publicly named”? I mean, not to put too fine a point on it or anything, but how much can you possibly contribute to a war and still expect to remain anonymous? On the “Coalition Of The Willing Sign-Up Sheet” I imagine these nations writing, like, “New Zealand: Will root for you.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Did you see Bush’s speech last night, announcing the start of hostilities? This line, in particular, leapt out at me: “These are opening stages of what will be a broad and concerted campaign. More than 35 countries are giving crucial support.” Thirty-five?! Just yesterday Powell said we had 45 nations (but admitted that a third […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2412","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2412","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2412"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2412\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}