{"id":2459,"date":"2003-05-12T08:14:59","date_gmt":"2003-05-12T15:14:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=2459"},"modified":"2003-05-12T08:14:59","modified_gmt":"2003-05-12T15:14:59","slug":"only-a-test","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2003\/05\/12\/only-a-test\/","title":{"rendered":"Only A Test"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>As you may have heard, Seattle will be engaging in a huge, simulated bioterrorism attack<\/a> this morning. I’ll be doing my part to help make this drill as authentic as possible by first looting the corner store when I hear of the “attack,” and then bringing all the beef jerky, Chick-O-Sticks and Mountain Dew Code Red I can carry back to my office, where I will spend the remainder of the day curled up in the fetal position under my desk and mewling. So, anyway, postings might be light today.<\/p>\n

Update<\/b>: Whoa — I just heard on the radio that this whole TopOff2 simulated terrorist thingamaroo is costing 16 million! Dollars! That’s a heck of a lot to pay for what is essentially one big role-playing game scenario. I mean jeeze, couldn’t they just hire, you know, a really kickass Dungeons and Dragons DM — maybe someone who used to run Top Secret<\/a> campaigns or something — and do the whole thing in the basement of the Wizards Of The Coast building?<\/p>\n

DM<\/b>: Okay Greg, you are in your office mayoring when a terrorist sets off a dirty bomb. What do you do?<\/p>\n

Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels<\/b>: Um, okay, I, um, I call Seattle Police Chief Gil Kerlikowske and tell him to go down there and, like, investigate.<\/p>\n

DM<\/b>: Don’t just say it, roleplay it.<\/p>\n

Nickles<\/b>: Oh right. Um, okay, “ring ring!”<\/p>\n

Kerlikowske<\/b>: I pick up the phone. “Hello.”<\/p>\n

Nickles<\/b>: “Someone set off a dirty bomb!”<\/p>\n

Kerlikowske<\/b>: I say “Who is this?!”<\/p>\n

[Laughter]<\/p>\n

Nickles<\/b>: Hah hah! I say “This is Mayor Greg Nickels and I order you to go investigate the dirty bomb!”<\/p>\n

DM<\/b>: Okay, roll against Charisma and see if he’s convinced. Meanwhile, what do you do, Gary?<\/p>\n

Seattle Fire Chief Gary Morris<\/b>: I grab my Fire Axe of Tor +2 and slide down the pole to my truck…<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

If you paid for soda and pizza you could probably do the whole thing for under a hundred bucks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As you may have heard, Seattle will be engaging in a huge, simulated bioterrorism attack this morning. I’ll be doing my part to help make this drill as authentic as possible by first looting the corner store when I hear of the “attack,” and then bringing all the beef jerky, Chick-O-Sticks and Mountain Dew Code […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2459","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-great-ideas"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2459","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2459"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2459\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2459"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2459"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2459"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}