{"id":2493,"date":"2003-06-17T10:35:12","date_gmt":"2003-06-17T17:35:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=2493"},"modified":"2003-06-17T10:35:12","modified_gmt":"2003-06-17T17:35:12","slug":"over-the-river-through-the-woods","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2003\/06\/17\/over-the-river-through-the-woods\/","title":{"rendered":"Over The River &#038; Through The Woods"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Last night I visited Grammy.  Grammy lives in a very pleasant Assisted Living Facility on the outskirts of Seattle, and I often zip over there after work to join her for dinner.  Last night was Sloppy Joes Night so, obviously, I made a point of attending.<\/p>\n<p>Joining us at the dinnertable was B., a woman I had met before and found utterly charming, owing to the fact that she is a delightful conversationalist despite being unable to hear a single word you say.  As I sat down, we had this exchange:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><b>Grammy<\/b>:  B., this is my grandson, Matthew.<br \/>\n<b>B.<\/b>:  Hello.  How are you?<br \/>\n<b>Me<\/b>:  Just fine, thank you.<br \/>\n<b>B.<\/b>:  Did you just graduate from college last week?  Is that why you&#8217;re visiting?<br \/>\n<b>Me<\/b>:  From college?  No, no, I&#8217;ve been out of college for a while now.  I&#8217;m just here for dinner.<br \/>\n<b>B.<\/b>:  My grandson graduated from Western [Washington University] last week and visited me yesterday.  Were you going to Western?<br \/>\n<b>Me<\/b>:  Ah, no, I went to The Evergreen State College.<br \/>\n<b>B.<\/b>:  So, you must be looking for a job now, huh?<br \/>\n<b>Me<\/b>:  Well, actually I have a job.  I&#8217;ve had it for a few years now.<br \/>\n<b>B.<\/b>:  It&#8217;s a tough job market right now.<br \/>\n<b>Me<\/b>:  It sure is.  I&#8217;m lucky to be employed.<br \/>\n<b>B.<\/b>:  Well, good luck with the job search.  I&#8217;ll keep my fingers crossed.<br \/>\n<b>Me<\/b>:  Okay, thanks.  I appreciate that.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Also joining us at the table was W., a amicable curmudgeon (who Grammy later referred to as &#8220;a little pill&#8221;) who spent the dinnerhour giving me <i>The Unabridged History Of W., 1942-2003<\/i>.  Whenever W. would mention someone in his narrative, he would introduce them by citing their name and something terrible associated with them, such as, &#8220;&#8230; so then I moved in with my cousin Martin, who later drowned, and my Uncle, who once got robbed at gunpoint.&#8221;  When W. made reference to other people in the dining hall it was the same thing:  &#8220;That&#8217;s E. who had a stroke&#8221; or &#8220;have you met C., with the arthritis?&#8221;  It was as if, to W., the defining characteristic of a person was the worst thing that had ever happened to him.  I had just realized this fact when he cracked me up by announcing, out of nowhere,  &#8220;I have two daughters:  one got diabetes and the other moved to Spokane.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>After dinner Grammy and I went back to her pad and watched <i>Knight Rider<\/i>, followed by two episodes of <i>Golden Girls<\/i> back-to-back.  It was a pretty great evening.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last night I visited Grammy. Grammy lives in a very pleasant Assisted Living Facility on the outskirts of Seattle, and I often zip over there after work to join her for dinner. Last night was Sloppy Joes Night so, obviously, I made a point of attending. Joining us at the dinnertable was B., a woman [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2493","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-storytelling"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2493","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2493"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2493\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2493"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2493"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2493"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}