{"id":2676,"date":"2004-03-30T11:55:03","date_gmt":"2004-03-30T18:55:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=2676"},"modified":"2004-03-30T11:55:03","modified_gmt":"2004-03-30T18:55:03","slug":"sing-me-to-sleep","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2004\/03\/30\/sing-me-to-sleep\/","title":{"rendered":"Sing Me To Sleep"},"content":{"rendered":"

I learned a lot of stuff in preparation for The Squirrelly, but, alas, the words to popular lullabies were not among them.<\/p>\n

I know the melodies to most of the classics, but I can usually only remember the first verse of words; after that I have to resort to improv. I figure it doesn’t matter what I say, as long as I sing it softly and keep the beat. Unfortunately, this philosophies results in calamities like the Brahms Lullaby sung as:<\/p>\n

Lullaby
\nAnd goodnight
\nLa la blah blah
\nBlah something
\nI think this song
\nIs in German
\nEins zwei drei vier funf
\nBratwurst<\/p>\n

Girls gone wild
\nWhere’s the beef?
\nI’ve got Pacman fever
\nFour score and
\nSeven years
\nBingo was his name-oh.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The great thing about this strategy is that you can tailor your lyrics for the situation.<\/p>\n

[Fifteen minutes and six made-up “Brahms Lullaby” verses later:]<\/p>\n

No, for real
\nGo to sleep
\nOr we’ll sell you
\nOn E-bay …\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Of course, coming up with words to lullabies off the top of your head takes some mental acuity, something I am often lacking at 2:30 in the morning. Then I resort to singing the only songs I know by heart: (a) 80’s tunes that I listened to so frequently as a teen that they are indelibly etched into my synapses, and (b) 80’s tunes that I learned the lyrics to by reading them off of a karaoke screen while drunkenly belting out them out in a bar. Unfortunately for The Squirrelly, the these two categories combine in a playlist suitable for the Worst Mix Tape Ever:<\/p>\n