The Squirrelly is boring, but I mean that in the best possible way. We seem to have been blessed with Ye Olde Miracle Child, who only fusses with reason, sleeps seven hours a night, and spends his waking hours smiling at everything that comes within four feet of him. If we could get get him to ixnay the excretory functions, he’d be a dream.<\/p>\n
He’s also hit a lull in his development. Well, technically that’s not true — I guess all sorts of magical things are happening inside that vaguely-too-big head of his, but when friends come over to see the Dancing Monkey Show we have to confess that he hasn’t learned a new trick since figuring out how to hold his head up. For the first few weeks it seems like he was doing something new every day, but, according to the development chart, those days are over for a spell. The next big milestones are things like “Remains sitting up (with assistance),” where “with assistance” basically means the parent holds the kid up and pretends like he’s reached a milestone. By that standard I should be able to put “Can perform neurosurgery (with assistance)” on my resume.<\/p>\n
In fact, all the development stages from 2-7 months are things like “Color vision improves.” And while I understand that cognitive development is fairly important step and everything, we’re not exactly calling the grandmas and saying, “Guess what the baby did today! He saw magenta!”<\/p>\n
![the ability to look as cute as all get-out<\/a>. Not that I’m complaining — judging from the development chart, this is the calm before the storm. Starting at seven months it goes from “Crawling” to “Walking” to “Arguing” to “Knows Where To Purchase Ecstasy” with frightening rapidity. I think I’ll continue to enjoy the kid while I can still tuck him under one arm.<\/p>\nSpeaking of The Squirrelly, I just called up The Queen at home and we had this conversation:<\/p>\nM<\/b>: How’s your day going?<\/p>\nQ<\/b>: Pretty good.<\/p>\nM<\/b>: Did you go for a walk yet?<\/p>\nQ<\/b>: No, but I’m going to go right after I eat the baby.<\/p>\nM<\/b>: After you what?!<\/p>\nQ<\/b>: Feed the baby! I mean feed him!<\/p><\/blockquote>\nOh, man, I can see the conversation now. “No officer, she never gave me any indication<\/em> she would do such a thing …”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The Squirrelly is boring, but I mean that in the best possible way. We seem to have been blessed with Ye Olde Miracle Child, who only fusses with reason, sleeps seven hours a night, and spends his waking hours smiling at everything that comes within four feet of him. If we could get get him […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2708","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-squirrelly"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2708","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2708"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2708\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2708"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2708"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2708"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}](\/the_squirrelly\/squirrelly_bear.jpg){kind=link}