{"id":3091,"date":"2005-11-22T17:26:52","date_gmt":"2005-11-23T00:26:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=3091"},"modified":"2005-11-22T17:26:52","modified_gmt":"2005-11-23T00:26:52","slug":"womb-service","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2005\/11\/22\/womb-service\/","title":{"rendered":"Womb Service"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The Squirrelly spends a lot of time in the car:  going to and from daycare, to and from swimming lessons, to and from music class.  He spends the ride strapped in his car seat, clawing banana cips from his Snack-Trap&trade;, drinking water from his travel sippy cup, and letting the vehicle carry him where it may.  Honestly, he wasn&#8217;t so much born as upgraded to a better womb.  When he turns five and has to start attending school, we&#8217;ll hire a midwife to extract him from the Toyota and send him on his way.<\/p>\n<p>I think this is just an intermediate step, as we humans slowly evolve into marsupials.   Someday in the near future our baby-carrying devices will merge with us, and will we carry our infants around in a pocket complete with built-in DVD player and Goldfish cracker dispenser.  If there is any any justice in the universe, it&#8217;s the fathers who will wind up bepouched.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Squirrelly spends a lot of time in the car: going to and from daycare, to and from swimming lessons, to and from music class. He spends the ride strapped in his car seat, clawing banana cips from his Snack-Trap&trade;, drinking water from his travel sippy cup, and letting the vehicle carry him where it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3091","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-squirrelly"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3091","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3091"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3091\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3091"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3091"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3091"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}