{"id":3116,"date":"2006-01-04T20:58:32","date_gmt":"2006-01-05T03:58:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=3116"},"modified":"2006-01-04T20:58:32","modified_gmt":"2006-01-05T03:58:32","slug":"mr-manners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2006\/01\/04\/mr-manners\/","title":{"rendered":"Mr. Manners"},"content":{"rendered":"

I had this epiphany the other day: the word “please” is just shorthand for “pleas.” So instead of going through the bother of making actual pleas when you want something you just say “please” instead, and I guess that’s supposed to be sufficient. It’s like walking into a car dealership, saying “Toyota Corolla, negotiate,” and expecting them to immediately knock $800 off the sticker price.<\/p>\n

Well, screw that. The next time I’m in Arby’s and the teen behind the counter say “can I take your order, please?” I’m going to be all, like, “Pffft — you’ll get my order when I hear some actual pleading, slacker.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had this epiphany the other day: the word “please” is just shorthand for “pleas.” So instead of going through the bother of making actual pleas when you want something you just say “please” instead, and I guess that’s supposed to be sufficient. It’s like walking into a car dealership, saying “Toyota Corolla, negotiate,” and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3116","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-observations"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3116","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3116"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3116\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3116"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3116"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3116"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}