Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure
\nRevision 88 \/ Serial number 54892<\/p>\n
Oval Office
\nYou are standing inside a White House, having just been elected to the presidency of the United States. You knew Scalia would pull through for you.<\/p>\n
There is a large desk here, along with a few chairs and couches. The presidential seal is in the middle of the room and there is a full-length mirror upon the wall.<\/p>\n
What do you want to do now?<\/p>\n
> INVADE IRAQ
\nYou are not able to do that, yet.<\/p>\n
> LOOK MIRROR
\nSelf-reflection is not your strong suit.<\/p>\n
> PET SEAL
\nIt's not that kind of seal.<\/p>\n
> EXAMINE CHAIRS
\nThey are several chairs arranged around the center of the room, along with two couches. Under one couch you find Clinton's shoes.<\/p>\n
> FILL SHOES
\nYou are unable to fill Clinton's shoes.<\/p>\n
> EXAMINE DESK
\nIt is a large, oak desk, with several drawers.<\/p>\n
In one drawer you find a bag of pretzels.<\/p>\n
> EAT PRETZEL.
\nI don't think the pretzel would agree with you.<\/p>\n
> INVADE IRAQ
\nYou are not able to do that, yet.<\/p>\n
> INVADE IRAQ
\nYou are not able to do that, yet.<\/p>\n
> GO RIGHT
\nFar-Right
\nYou are on the far right of the political spectrum.
\nJesse Helms is here.
\nJohn Ashcroft is here.<\/p>\n
> GO RIGHT
\nRadical Right
\nYou are on the extreme right of the political spectrum.
\nDick Cheney is here.
\nPat Robertson is here.<\/p>\n
> INVADE IRAQ
\nYou are not able to do that, yet.<\/p>\n
> TAKE VACATION
\nTaken.<\/p>\n
> INVADE IRAQ
\nYou are not able to do that, yet.<\/p>\n
> SCORE
\nYour favorablity rating is 58% out of a possible 100%.<\/p>\n
> GO PHOTOOP
\nPhoto Op
\nYou are at a the Emma T. Booker Elementary School, along with a gaggle of obsequious members of the mainstream media.
\nThere is a book here.
\nThere are some children here.<\/p>\n
> READ BOOK
\nYou read \"My Pet Goat.\"<\/p>\n
In the distance, terrorists attack the United States.<\/p>\n
> READ BOOK
\nYou continue to read \"My Pet Goat.\"<\/p>\n
> READ BOOK
\nYou continue to read \"My Pet Goat.\"<\/p>\n
> READ BOOK
\nYou continue to read \"My Pet Goat.\"<\/p>\n
> GO HOME
\nYou fly around aimlessly for a while, then return to the White House.<\/p>\n
Oval Office<\/p>\n
> GIVE SPEECH
\nWho do you want to give the speech to?<\/p>\n
> AMERICAN PEOPLE
\nYou give the speech to the American people.<\/p>\n
> DIAGNOSIS
\nYour favorablity rating is 84% out of a possible 100%.<\/p>\n
> INVADE IRAQ
\nYou are not able to do that, yet.<\/p>\n
> INVADE AFGHANISTAN
\nAfghanistan
\nYou have invaded the nation of Afghanistan, bombing the Taliban nearly out of existence.<\/p>\n
Osama Bin Laden, mastermind of the 9\/11 attacks, is here.<\/p>\n
> INVADE IRAQ
\n(Leaving Afghanistan first.)
\nYou are not able to do that, yet.<\/p>\n
> INVADE IRAQ
\nYou are not able to do that, yet.<\/p>\n
> FUCK
\nSuch language in a high-class establishment like this!<\/p>\n
> HYPE THREAT
\n\"The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa.\"<\/p>\n
> MONGER FEAR
\n\"Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof -- the smoking gun -- that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud ...\"<\/p>\n
> MUDDY WATER
\n\"We know that Iraq and the al Qaeda terrorist network share a common enemy -- the United States of America. We know that Iraq and al Qaeda have had high-level contacts that go back a decade. And we know that after September the 11th, Saddam Hussein's regime gleefully celebrated the terrorist attacks on America ...\"<\/p>\n
> PUNISH CRITICS
\n\"Wilson never worked for the CIA, but his wife, Valerie Plame, is an Agency operative on weapons of mass destruction ... \"<\/p>\n
> RAILROAD CONGRESS
\nYou schedule a vote on the Iraq invasion for just before the 2002 midterm elections. As usual, spineless democrats roll over like an SUV taking a sharp corner.<\/p>\n
Your plan to invade Iraq now has the backing of the American people and Congress.<\/p>\n
> INVADE IRAQ
\nBaghdad
\nYou enter the Iraqi capital of Bagdad, having toppled the government and captured the nation's key cities in only 21 days. You can't seem to find the promised throngs of citizens greeting you as liberators, but the footage of the Saddam statue being pulled down looks great on Fox!<\/p>\n
> GIVE CONTRACTS
\nWho do you want to give the contracts to?<\/p>\n
> HALLIBURTON
\nWhat kind of contracts do you wish to give to Halliburton?<\/p>\n
> NO-BID
\nYou give the no-bid contracts to Halliburton.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq remains unchanged.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq remains unchanged.<\/p>\n
> WEAR FLIGHTSUIT
\nYou put on the flightsuit.<\/p>\n
> SAY \"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED\"
\n\"Mission accomplished.\"<\/p>\n
> EXAMINE MISSION
\nThe mission is not accomplished.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq remains unchanged.<\/p>\n
Some insurgents arrive.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq deteriorates.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq deteriorates.<\/p>\n
Some insurgents arrive.
\nThere is a small number of insurgents here.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq deteriorates.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq deteriorates.<\/p>\n
Some insurgents arrive.
\nThere is a moderate number of insurgents here.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq deteriorates.<\/p>\n
An election year arrives.<\/p>\n
> GO LEFT
\nFar-Right
\nPat Buchanan is here.
\nSean Hannity is here.<\/p>\n
> GO LEFT
\nCompassionate Conservativism
\nYou are right-of-center on the political spectrum.
\nJohn McCain is here.
\nJoseph Leiberman is here.<\/p>\n
> GET REELECTED
\nYou get reelected.<\/p>\n
> GO RIGHT
\nFar-Right
\nTom DeLay is here.
\nMichelle Malkin is here.<\/p>\n
> GO RIGHT
\nRadical Right
\nRick Santorum is here.
\nAnn Coulter is here.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq deteriorates.<\/p>\n
Some insurgents arrive.
\nThere is a large number of insurgents here.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq deteriorates.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq deteriorates.<\/p>\n
Some insurgents arrive.
\nThere is a huge number of insurgents here.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq deteriorates.<\/p>\n
> STAY COURSE
\nThe situation in Iraq deteriorates.<\/p>\n
Some insurgents arrive.
\nThere is an overwhelming number of insurgents here.<\/p>\n
> SCORE
\nYour favorablity rating is 47% out of a possible 100%.<\/p>\n
> ADMIT MISTAKES
\nYou are unable to admit mistakes.<\/p>\n
> ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
\nYou are unable to accept responsibility.<\/p>\n
> DECLARE VICTORY
\nI do not know what you mean by \"victory.\"<\/p>\n
> QUIT
\nOh, how we wish you would.<\/tt><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure Revision 88 \/ Serial number 54892 Oval Office You are standing inside a White House, having just been elected to the presidency of the United States. You knew Scalia would pull through for you. There is a large desk here, along with a few chairs and couches. The presidential seal […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,13,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-favorite-posts","category-games","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3123","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3123"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3123\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}