{"id":3397,"date":"2007-04-25T08:49:26","date_gmt":"2007-04-25T15:49:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=3397"},"modified":"2007-04-25T08:49:26","modified_gmt":"2007-04-25T15:49:26","slug":"seattle-follies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2007\/04\/25\/seattle-follies\/","title":{"rendered":"Seattle Follies"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last Friday I got email from my friend Phyllis Fletcher<\/a>:<\/p>\n

To: Matthew
\nFrom: Phyllis
\nSubject: Help--need jokes!!<\/p>\n

I will represent KUOW at Town Hall's Seattle Follies<\/a>, Thu April 26, 7:30PM. Send me some jokes!<\/p>\n

Phyllis
\n 
\n <\/p>\n

* * *<\/div>\n

 
\n 
\nTo: Phyllis
\nFrom: Matthew
\nSubject: Re: Help--need jokes!!<\/p>\n

How many Seattlites does it take to replace a light bulb?<\/p>\n

One to propose replacing it with a traditional light bulb, one to propose replacing it with a energy-efficient fluorescent bulb, one to propose replacing it with a single candle in protest of the Iraq war, and 100,000 to vote on a non-binding referendum.<\/p>\n

Matthew
\n 
\n <\/p>\n

* * *<\/div>\n

 
\n 
\nTo: Matthew
\nFrom: Phyllis
\nSubject: Re: Help--need jokes!!<\/p>\n

Hahaha. But I will be delivering a fake newscast, so what I really need are jokey\/satirical news items.<\/p>\n

Phyllis
\n 
\n <\/p>\n

* * *<\/div>\n

 
\n 
\nTo: Phyllis
\nFrom: Matthew
\nSubject: Re: Help--need jokes!!<\/p>\n

The Seattle City Council voted unanimously today to reappropriate the $4 billion currently earmarked for the 520 floating bridge replacement project<\/a>. The funds will now be given to the research department of Blue Origin<\/a>, to be used for the development of jetpacks and hoverboards. Richard Conlin, chairman of the council's state Route 520 committee, defended the decision, pointing out that the creation of such alternative commuter technology for crossing Lake Washington would likely require less time and prove more feasible than finding a 520 plan everyone can agree on.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, the Seattle chapter of NORML unveiled another 520 replacement proposal last Friday at the Hempfest benefit concert<\/a>: the 420<\/em> floating bridge<\/em>. The six-lane \"high-way\" would have a speed limit of 7 miles an hour and just kind of meander around aimlessly, without any real direction.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last Friday I got email from my friend Phyllis Fletcher: To: Matthew From: Phyllis Subject: Help–need jokes!! I will represent KUOW at Town Hall’s Seattle Follies, Thu April 26, 7:30PM. Send me some jokes! Phyllis     * * *     To: Phyllis From: Matthew Subject: Re: Help–need jokes!! How many Seattlites does it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","category-seattle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3397","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3397"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3397\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}