After Obama’s speech, the NPR pundits were predicting GOP fratricide in the wake of Huckabee’s victory, and I had a lovely little daydream about all the Republican candidates turning on one another with such virulence that they somehow all lose, allowing Obama to waltz into the Oval office unchallenged. Sort of like a modern day “Millions Of Cats<\/a>“:<\/p>\n Hell, maybe he could just adopt that as his campaign slogan.<\/p>\n Edwards<\/u><\/p>\n Many assumed that my calling the election for Obama implied that I was rooting for him. Well, I am, kinda. But only because my first choice, Gore, has decided to spend this election home playing Blocksum<\/a> on his three 30″ monitors; my second choice, Dodd, has, after a year of campaigning, managed to become as widely known as the gaffer on Daddy Day Camp<\/em>; and my third choice, Edwards, has as much chance of getting elected president as I do of opening a line of Southern California Taco Trucks called “defective yummy” (“We Put The Eat Into Burrito!”).<\/p>\n Edwards was my man in 2004, and I still contend that he c Still, of all the contenders (now that Dodd and Biden have dropped out), I think he’d make the best president. (Well, perhaps not as good as Hillary, but I have ruled her out for other reasons<\/a>.) He has the experience Obama lacks, and the seriousness that just about everyone on everyone on the Republican side, save perhaps McCain and Paul, openly eschews. By “seriousness,” I mean that he has clearly thought about what he would do as<\/em> president, and not just about how to get to be<\/em> president. Check out this recent New York Times Interview with Edwards<\/a>, for instance, or the issues page on his website<\/a>. I get the sense that Edwards views the presidency as a job, and not just a plum.<\/p>\n Sadly, the media has this completely backwards, dismissing him as the lightweight in the race. And Edwards has largely brought this onto himself, with his relentless smile and a “sunny optimism” shtick that’s easily confused with blinkered shallowness. That kind of showmanship may have worked well in the courtroom, but here it has proven a total dud.<\/p>\n Anyway, I think Edwards may have served his purpose in this race: by edging Hillary out in Iowa by a fraction of a percent, he relegated her to “third” and made Obama seem much, much more the frontrunner than if she had come in second. That’s of enormous significance to the dynamic of the race, but probably the only thing of consequence Fate has in store for the Edwards campaign. He’s not going to be the protagonist of this story, alas, just a plot device.<\/p>\n Books<\/u><\/p>\n I’d be happy to see Obama in the White House, though perhaps as a vice president first. Much of my reservations came while reading his book, The Audacity Of Hope<\/em>, which is mostly written in the “Cowardly Journalist,” on-the-one-hand, on-the-other style of using a lot of words to say very little. His dissertation on the filibuster, for instance, is, like:<\/p>\n Which wouldn’t bother me so much–“campaign books” are notorious for their meaninglessness–if it hadn’t made me so acutely aware of when he uses this same technique on the campaign trail.<\/p>\n By the way, I tried to read Al Gore’s most recent book, FATAL REASON ASSAULT IV: THE DUMBENING<\/em> or whatever it’s called, and gave up on page 30, when I hit the line, “It was the new technology itself that empowered Galileo to describe a reality that was impossible to perceive so clearly until the new technology of the telescope made it possible,” one of many that was so bad that I<\/em> could have written them. The guy has an Oscar and a Nobel Prize–you’d think we could rustle himself up an editor as well.<\/p>\n Huckabee<\/u><\/p>\n “It’s really impossible to overstate Chuck Norris’ impact on this race,” one pundit opined after Huckabee’s win in Iowa. And it’s also impossible to overstate the impact of Chuck Norris jokes<\/a> in re-elevating Chuck Norris to the public consciousness.<\/p>\n This is the most influence an Internet meme has ever had, at least until Obama names Leslie Hall<\/a> as Secretary of the Treasury.<\/p>\n Giuliani<\/u><\/p>\n I don’t know if you saw it, but before the Iowa Caucus Rudy Giuliani released the most fearmongering ad of the campaign.<\/p>\n![\"Millions](\"https:\/\/farm3.static.flickr.com\/2200\/2175186821_e298a80ae0_o.jpg\")
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<\/div>\nw<\/strike>ould have won, had he been nominated. But, to my mind, he’s been a moderately terrible candidate this time around. For one thing, I can’t help but wonder what he’s been doing since 2004–and the only conclusion I can come to is: running for president. Which means, really, he’s been running for President for five or six straight years, to the apparent exclusion of all other activities. And it doesn’t help when he says that the presidency is “his calling.” He’s pursuing the White House with such zeal that, were it a girl, it would have long ago politely asked him to stop<\/em> calling and sought a restraining order. And, as the “Draft Al Gore!” and “Draft Fred Thompson!” and “Draft Wesley Clark!” movements demonstrate, Americans like candidates who feign disinterest in the presidency. The coy suitor, if you will, rather than the guy standing on the White House’s front lawn holding the boombox over his head blasting The Star Spangled Banner.<\/p>\n\n
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