As you know, the Summer Solstice is not only the day on which the sun is at its northernmost extreme, but also the date after which you can no longer dismiss those extra pounds you gained over the holidays as “Winter Weight” and instead have to face the bleak reality that they are now, officially, fat.<\/p>\n
In recognition of this fact I spent the week eating less. It sucked. Particularly because the following events also transpired in that time frame:<\/p>\n
I Began Reading Kafka On The Shore<\/em><\/b> In this book, the protagonist–a young Japanese man running away from his home in Tokyo–eats about once every three pages. Seriously, if I had to identify the major motifs explored in this work of literature, I would itemize them as:<\/p>\n Worse, since the kid is on the lam, he’s typically half-staving before he eats. So the book is always, like, “I was really hungry. Oh man, so hungry. Can you even imagine how hungry I was? Go ahead and try. Are you imagining it? Are you imagining how hungry I was? It’s awful, isn’t it? Anyway, then I ate an enormous bowl of udon–yum!”<\/p>\n My Place Of Business Became A Landfill For Leftovers<\/b>: Sometimes when you walk into the break room at my work you will find Krispy Kreme donuts leftover from a morning meeting, pizza from a lunchtime seminar, or an assortment of food from an event in which the caterers went overboard. This happens very rarely, perhaps once every other month. This week however, every time I went in there to get an 8 oz. can of V8 juice I would discover, like, a cairn of Macadamia nut and white-chocolate cookies on the counter accompanied by a Post-It note reading, “FREE! I IMPLORE YOU TO EAT SINGLE ONE OF THESE!!!”<\/p>\n I Got Stuck In Traffic Jam Alongside A Taco Truck<\/b> I spent 40 minutes staring at the menu through the passenger-side window, thinking “Chimichanga with pico de gallo<\/em> for $2.50? FUUUUCK!”<\/p>\n Man, even writing this post was a mistake. I should have {sigh} had a V8 …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As you know, the Summer Solstice is not only the day on which the sun is at its northernmost extreme, but also the date after which you can no longer dismiss those extra pounds you gained over the holidays as “Winter Weight” and instead have to face the bleak reality that they are now, officially, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3616","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-storytelling"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3616","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3616"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3616\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3616"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3616"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3616"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n