{"id":3709,"date":"2009-05-08T02:10:59","date_gmt":"2009-05-08T09:10:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=3709"},"modified":"2009-05-08T02:10:59","modified_gmt":"2009-05-08T09:10:59","slug":"the-office-personas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2009\/05\/08\/the-office-personas\/","title":{"rendered":"The Office &#8211; Personas"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Just for kicks I wrote a script for <em>The Office<\/em>. You can read the whole thing at <a href='http:\/\/www.defectiveyeti.com\/theoffice\/TheOffice-Personas.pdf'>http:\/\/www.defectiveyeti.com\/theoffice\/TheOffice-Personas.pdf<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I was inspired by two events, both of which took place in March. The first was an eight-hour Project Management seminar that I attended for work. At the end of the day I was reviewing my notes and realized I&#8217;d been handed an <em>Office<\/em> storyline.<\/p>\n<p>The second was the series finale of <em>Battlestar Galactica<\/em>. As followers of <em>The Office<\/em> know, Dwight is a huge Battlestar fan, mentioning the program often.<\/p>\n<div align='center'>\n<object width=\"425\" height=\"344\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/dk3L4RjfJbk&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1\"><\/param><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\"><\/param><param name=\"allowscriptaccess\" value=\"always\"><\/param><embed src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/dk3L4RjfJbk&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1\" type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" allowscriptaccess=\"always\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" width=\"425\" height=\"344\"><\/embed><\/object><BR><BR>\n<\/div>\n<p>I half-expected a subsequent episode of <em>The Office<\/em> to note the end of Battlestar, but it hasn&#8217;t happened yet. Thus, I decided to write my own.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Personas&#8221; is set around the time in season five of <em>The Office<\/em> when BSG ended. Specifically, it falls between &#8220;Golden Ticket&#8221; (S05E17) and &#8220;New Boss&#8221; (S05E18). In other words:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Andy is on staff.<\/li>\n<li>Toby is back.<\/li>\n<li>Ryan is missing (supposedly in Thailand).<\/li>\n<li>No one in the office is in a relationship, except Jim \/ Pam (engaged) and Andy \/ Dwight (mortal enemies).<\/li>\n<li>The Charles Miner \/ &#8220;Michael Scott Paper Company&#8221; storyline has not yet begun.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>One last thing. Forty pages struck me as pretty long for a 30 minute show, but &#8220;E-Mail Surveillance&#8221; and &#8220;The Carpet&#8221;&#8211;the two scripts of <em>The Office<\/em> I could find online (at <a href='http:\/\/www.dailyscript.com\/tv.html'>http:\/\/www.dailyscript.com\/tv.html<\/a>)&#8211;clock in at 44 and 43 pages respectively, so I used those as a guide. Having never before written a script for an existing show, I figured I&#8217;d stick to precedent.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, here&#8217;s the teaser. I don&#8217;t really plan to do anything with this (it was more of an exercise than anything else), but if you have any feedback I&#8217;d love to hear it. You can email me at <a href='mailto:matthewbaldwin@gmail.com'>matthewbaldwin@gmail.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><b>Update<\/b>:  Someone asked if this contains BSG finale spoilers.  Actually, it contains no BSG spoilers whatsoever, so go nuts.<\/p>\n<hr width='100%'>\n<p><tt><\/p>\n<div align='center'>The Office<br \/>\n\"Personas\"<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;COLD&nbsp;OPEN<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;INT.&nbsp;CONFERENCE&nbsp;ROOM&nbsp;-&nbsp;MORNING<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Michael&nbsp;is&nbsp;at&nbsp;the&nbsp;front&nbsp;of&nbsp;the&nbsp;room&nbsp;and&nbsp;the&nbsp;rest&nbsp;of&nbsp;the&nbsp;staff<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;is&nbsp;paired&nbsp;up.&nbsp;Each&nbsp;group&nbsp;has&nbsp;a&nbsp;flipchart,&nbsp;on&nbsp;which&nbsp;they&nbsp;have<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;jotted&nbsp;down&nbsp;descriptions&nbsp;of&nbsp;fictional&nbsp;people:&nbsp;names,&nbsp;ages,<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;sexes,&nbsp;occupations,&nbsp;etc.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;PHYLLIS,&nbsp;paired&nbsp;with&nbsp;MEREDITH,&nbsp;is&nbsp;standing,&nbsp;addressing&nbsp;the<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;room,&nbsp;wrapping&nbsp;up&nbsp;her&nbsp;presentation.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;PHYLLIS<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Gerald's&nbsp;primary&nbsp;paper&nbsp;needs&nbsp;are<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;eight&nbsp;by&nbsp;eleven&nbsp;white&nbsp;bond&nbsp;for&nbsp;the<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;printer&nbsp;and&nbsp;number&nbsp;10&nbsp;security<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;envelopes.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;MICHAEL<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Excellent.&nbsp;Good&nbsp;work&nbsp;Phyllis.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;MICHAEL&nbsp;(V.O.)&nbsp;(CONT'D)<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Personas&nbsp;are&nbsp;a&nbsp;top-level&nbsp;project<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;management&nbsp;tool&nbsp;used&nbsp;by&nbsp;business<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;experts&nbsp;around&nbsp;the&nbsp;world.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;MICHAEL&nbsp;TALKING&nbsp;HEAD<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;MICHAEL<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;What&nbsp;you&nbsp;do&nbsp;is&nbsp;you&nbsp;make&nbsp;up<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;characters&nbsp;and&nbsp;pretend&nbsp;that&nbsp;they<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;are&nbsp;your&nbsp;customers.&nbsp;And&nbsp;then&nbsp;you<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;ask&nbsp;them&nbsp;for&nbsp;advice&nbsp;on&nbsp;how&nbsp;to<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;improve.&nbsp;And&nbsp;that&nbsp;way&nbsp;you&nbsp;don't<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;have&nbsp;to&nbsp;talk&nbsp;to&nbsp;real&nbsp;customers.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;INT.&nbsp;CONFERENCE&nbsp;ROOM&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Dwight&nbsp;is&nbsp;completing&nbsp;his&nbsp;presentation.&nbsp;The&nbsp;flipchart&nbsp;looks<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;like&nbsp;a&nbsp;Dungeon&nbsp;and&nbsp;Dragons&nbsp;character&nbsp;sheet,&nbsp;complete&nbsp;with<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;stats&nbsp;on&nbsp;the&nbsp;left-hand&nbsp;side&nbsp;and&nbsp;a&nbsp;sketch&nbsp;of&nbsp;a&nbsp;barbarian.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;STANLEY,&nbsp;his&nbsp;partner,&nbsp;sits&nbsp;nearby,&nbsp;engrossed&nbsp;in&nbsp;his&nbsp;puzzle<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;book.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;DWIGHT<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;...&nbsp;when&nbsp;in&nbsp;a&nbsp;beserker&nbsp;rage,<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Rivenheart&nbsp;can&nbsp;attack&nbsp;twice&nbsp;per<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;round&nbsp;but&nbsp;is&nbsp;unable&nbsp;to&nbsp;defend.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;MICHAEL<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;(exasperated)<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Dwight,&nbsp;you&nbsp;--&nbsp;Missing&nbsp;the&nbsp;point.<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Why&nbsp;does&nbsp;your&nbsp;persona&nbsp;need&nbsp;paper?&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;DWIGHT<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;He&nbsp;doesn't&nbsp;need&nbsp;paper.&nbsp;His&nbsp;history<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;is&nbsp;written&nbsp;in&nbsp;the&nbsp;lamentation&nbsp;of<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;his&nbsp;enemies.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;MICHAEL<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Okay&nbsp;sit&nbsp;down.&nbsp;Just--&nbsp;Sit&nbsp;down.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Dwight&nbsp;does&nbsp;so&nbsp;as&nbsp;Michael&nbsp;wrestles&nbsp;with&nbsp;his&nbsp;irritation.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;MICHAEL&nbsp;(CONT'D)<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Who's&nbsp;next?&nbsp;Jim&nbsp;and&nbsp;Kevin.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;KEVIN&nbsp;looks&nbsp;at&nbsp;JIM&nbsp;with&nbsp;a&nbsp;giddy&nbsp;smile;&nbsp;Jim&nbsp;nods&nbsp;confidently.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Kevin&nbsp;stands&nbsp;and&nbsp;gestures&nbsp;at&nbsp;his&nbsp;flipchart,&nbsp;on&nbsp;which&nbsp;he&nbsp;has<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;written&nbsp;a&nbsp;series&nbsp;of&nbsp;bulletpoints&nbsp;describing&nbsp;his&nbsp;persona.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;KEVIN<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Our&nbsp;persona&nbsp;is&nbsp;\"Mark&nbsp;L.\"<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;His&nbsp;pronunciation&nbsp;of&nbsp;\"Mark&nbsp;L.\"&nbsp;is&nbsp;almost&nbsp;identical&nbsp;to<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;\"Michael\",&nbsp;and&nbsp;he&nbsp;pauses&nbsp;expectantly.&nbsp;When&nbsp;there's&nbsp;no<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;reaction,&nbsp;he&nbsp;continues,&nbsp;struggling&nbsp;to&nbsp;maintain&nbsp;a&nbsp;straight<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;face.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;KEVIN&nbsp;(CONT'D)<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Mark&nbsp;L.&nbsp;is&nbsp;in&nbsp;his&nbsp;mid-40's.&nbsp;Single,<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;no&nbsp;family,&nbsp;no&nbsp;girlfriend.&nbsp;Dead-end<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;job&nbsp;as&nbsp;regional manager&nbsp;in&nbsp;a&nbsp;dying<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;industry.&nbsp;This&nbsp;guy&nbsp;is&nbsp;going<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;nowhere.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Titters&nbsp;around&nbsp;the&nbsp;room&nbsp;as&nbsp;people&nbsp;recognize&nbsp;the&nbsp;gag.&nbsp;They&nbsp;are<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;laughing&nbsp;with&nbsp;Michael,&nbsp;assuming&nbsp;he'll&nbsp;catch&nbsp;on&nbsp;at&nbsp;any&nbsp;moment.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;KEVIN&nbsp;(CONT'D)<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;He&nbsp;tells&nbsp;a&nbsp;lot&nbsp;of&nbsp;bad&nbsp;jokes.&nbsp;His<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;favorite&nbsp;is&nbsp;short,&nbsp;but&nbsp;he&nbsp;knows&nbsp;how<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;to&nbsp;use&nbsp;it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Jim&nbsp;hears&nbsp;his&nbsp;prearranged&nbsp;cue.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;JIM<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;That's&nbsp;what&nbsp;she&nbsp;said!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Michael&nbsp;laughs.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;MICHAEL<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Good&nbsp;one,&nbsp;Jim!&nbsp;Nicely&nbsp;done.&nbsp;Okay<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Kevin,&nbsp;let's&nbsp;keep&nbsp;this&nbsp;moving.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Kevin&nbsp;looks&nbsp;uncertain.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;KEVIN<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;He's&nbsp;always&nbsp;walking&nbsp;around&nbsp;the<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;office&nbsp;interrupting&nbsp;people's&nbsp;work<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;with&nbsp;pointless&nbsp;stories.&nbsp;Or<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;insensitive&nbsp;remarks.&nbsp;About&nbsp;their<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;weight.&nbsp;And&nbsp;baldness&nbsp;...<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;MICHAEL<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Ugch.&nbsp;Why&nbsp;would&nbsp;you&nbsp;even&nbsp;invent<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;this&nbsp;guy?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Kevin&nbsp;at&nbsp;a&nbsp;loss.&nbsp;Desperately&nbsp;trying&nbsp;to&nbsp;clue&nbsp;Michael&nbsp;in,&nbsp;he<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;deviates&nbsp;from&nbsp;the&nbsp;flipchart.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;KEVIN&nbsp;<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Owns&nbsp;a&nbsp;\"World's&nbsp;Best&nbsp;Boss\"&nbsp;mug?<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Drives&nbsp;a&nbsp;Sebring?&nbsp;His&nbsp;birthday&nbsp;is<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;March&nbsp;15th?&nbsp;No,&nbsp;nothing?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;In&nbsp;a&nbsp;burst&nbsp;of&nbsp;inspiration,&nbsp;Jim&nbsp;leaps&nbsp;to&nbsp;his&nbsp;feet.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;JIM<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I&nbsp;think&nbsp;Mark&nbsp;L.'s&nbsp;worst&nbsp;trait&nbsp;is<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;his&nbsp;utter&nbsp;lack&nbsp;of&nbsp;self-awareness.<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;He&nbsp;wouldn't&nbsp;even&nbsp;recognize&nbsp;a<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;description&nbsp;of&nbsp;himself.<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;(beat;&nbsp;then&nbsp;slowly)<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Wouldn't&nbsp;even&nbsp;recognize&nbsp;a<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;description&nbsp;...&nbsp;of&nbsp;himself.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Michael&nbsp;looks&nbsp;pensive&nbsp;for&nbsp;a&nbsp;moment,&nbsp;on&nbsp;the&nbsp;verge&nbsp;of<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;realization.&nbsp;But&nbsp;then&nbsp;he&nbsp;shudders&nbsp;at&nbsp;his&nbsp;mental&nbsp;image&nbsp;of&nbsp;Mark<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;and&nbsp;says:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;MICHAEL<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;And&nbsp;what&nbsp;are&nbsp;his&nbsp;paper&nbsp;needs?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;KEVIN<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;(to&nbsp;Jim;&nbsp;accusatory)<br \/>\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;You&nbsp;said&nbsp;this&nbsp;would&nbsp;be&nbsp;funny.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;END&nbsp;COLD&nbsp;OPEN<\/tt><\/p>\n<hr width='100%'>\n<p>You can read the whole thing as either a <a href='http:\/\/www.defectiveyeti.com\/theoffice\/TheOffice-Personas.pdf'>PDF<\/a> (best) or as <a href='http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/theoffice\/TheOffice-Personas.html'>HTML<\/a> (with some lost of formatting).  An .fdr files is also available upon request.  Enjoy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Just for kicks I wrote a script for The Office. You can read the whole thing at http:\/\/www.defectiveyeti.com\/theoffice\/TheOffice-Personas.pdf. I was inspired by two events, both of which took place in March. The first was an eight-hour Project Management seminar that I attended for work. At the end of the day I was reviewing my notes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3709","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-misc"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3709","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3709"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3709\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3709"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3709"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3709"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}