{"id":6215,"date":"2013-10-20T18:27:59","date_gmt":"2013-10-21T01:27:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/?p=6215"},"modified":"2013-10-21T18:44:22","modified_gmt":"2013-10-22T01:44:22","slug":"qa-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/2013\/10\/20\/qa-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Q&A"},"content":{"rendered":"

Assorted questions from the\u00a0abortive reddit AMA<\/a>,\u00a0email<\/a>, and\u00a0The Month of Son ask page<\/a>.<\/p>\n

A stereotype I have of people on the spectrum is that they don\u2019t love in the way that neurotypical people do. Your descriptions of your time with him certainly sound affectionate. Do you think it is fondness or just familiarity on his part?
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Both, I believe.<\/p>\n

There is a set number of people with whom he will interact \u2014 family, friends of family, teachers, therapists \u2014 and he seems indifferent to the rest, so he\u2019s not indiscriminate. \u00a0When we take him to the playground, for instance, he is the politest child you can imagine, patiently waiting his turn for the slide and never pushing past another kid. But he also does not interact with them socially. Compare this to how he behaves around people he knows. The more familiar he is with someone, the more likely he is to come hang around (or on) them, squeeze their arm, sit next to them on the couch, and so forth.<\/p>\n

He gets excited when his grandparents visit, even to the point of insomnia if they arrive too late in the evening. To see him in those instances is to know that there is genuine affection, and not just familiarity.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Follow-up: Does he have aversions to some people?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Again, he only really reacts to those he is familiar with. But, yes, sometimes there are aversions. For instance, if he is watching TV and suspects that I might tell him to turn it off, my entrance into the family room is greeted with a hearty \u201cPAPA\u00a0GO AWAY!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Do you have to speak to your son differently than you do to other kids his age?<\/strong><\/p>\n

While we pretty much know the extent of my son\u2019s ability to express himself, it\u2019s difficult to determine his receptive language. He\u2019s certainly capable of understanding and following a wide range of simple commands, even those he has never before heard. For example, when I recently told him to \u201cgo downstairs and bring me the mouse,\u201d he disappeared for a few moments and returned with the mouse in hand. \u00a0I had never uttered that exact request before, but he had no problem parsing it. This is in stark contrast to his expressive language, where he very rarely utters something new.<\/p>\n

Even so, when making requests of this sort I tend to make them as simple as possible, and emphasize the key words. In the example above, my exact enunciation was probably more along the lines of \u201cGo\u00a0downstairs<\/em>. And bring me\u00a0the mouse<\/em>.\u201d We\u2019ve noticed that we can chain together about three requests maximum, before he loses focus.<\/p>\n

Conversationally, I speak to him as I would any other child his age. When we are in the car, or on a walk, I just chatter at him about whatever is on mind. I didn\u2019t used to do this \u2014 for a while I thought there was \u201cno point\u201d in doing so, on the theory that he couldn\u2019t comprehend what I was saying anyway \u2014 \u00a0but one day I realized that I didn\u2019t really know if he could understand or not, and forced myself to keep up a one-sided conversation.<\/p>\n

At first this felt very weird to me, a situation I called \u201cthe Reverse\u00a0Harvey<\/em>effect.\u201d In the play\u00a0Harvey<\/em><\/a>, you may recall, the protagonist holds animated conversations with a companion that only he can see, leading others to view him as insane; in my case I was speaking to a child that everyone could see, but that I alone \u201cknew\u201d couldn\u2019t understand. But after a while this became natural to me, and I keep this monologue up whenever he and I are together. And I know he hears me, at the very least; heaven help me if I accidentally say \u201cswimming pool\u201d, for instance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It\u2019s often suggested that ASD has a heritable component. Do you buy that theory? Do you consider yourself 100% neurotypical?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I buy this hypothesis, yes. And although folks in IT self-diagnosing as slightly autistic has been all the rage ever since\u00a0the Wired AQ Test<\/a>\u00a0was published, I\u2019ll go ahead and do so anyway.<\/p>\n

Ironically, I don\u2019t think this is evident to my friends and acquaintances, because it\u2019s something I\u2019ve worked to overcome. As a child I was not super comfortable making eye contact, for instance, and this persisted into my teens. At some point I realized that this was a limitation in job interviews, where eye contact is viewed as a sign of confidence and trustworthiness, and so trained myself to hold eye contact more regularly. Now I can stare down the best of them. \u00a0Likewise, if you saw me at a party, and if i was making an effort to \u201cfake it\u201d, you would probably be unaware that I generally find parties unnerving.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What are your favorite\/least favorite terms to refer to an autistic kid? \u00a0What are your favorite\/least favorite terms to refer to a non-autistic kid?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Some people dislike the word \u201cautistic\u201d, because they feel it defines the child completely in terms of his or her disability, and prefer \u201cperson with autism\u201d. I\u2019m fine with either, but tend to use the \u201cwith autism\u201d formulation because it\u2019s just as easy, and doesn\u2019t raise any hackles.<\/p>\n

I have heard children with autism, especially those with Aspergers, referred to as \u201clittle professors\u201d, which I find charming.<\/p>\n

The term I generally use when referring to non-autistic children is \u201cneurotypical\u201d, because I prefer \u201ctypical\u201d over \u201cnormal\u201d, and because \u201cneuro\u201d clearly calls out the distinction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Does your son enjoy reading?<\/strong><\/p>\n

It is one of his favorite activities. It is unclear how much he comprehends, but he\u2019s always been fascinated with words.<\/p>\n

\"image\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Assorted questions from the\u00a0abortive reddit AMA,\u00a0email, and\u00a0The Month of Son ask page. A stereotype I have of people on the spectrum is that they don\u2019t love in the way that neurotypical people do. Your descriptions of your time with him certainly sound affectionate. Do you think it is fondness or just familiarity on his part? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[68],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-month-of-son"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6215","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6215"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6215\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6218,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6215\/revisions\/6218"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6215"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6215"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/defectiveyeti.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6215"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}