Lipidalooza

Matthew Great Ideas

America’s Favorite Snack
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This summer, people across the nation thrilled to the taste-sensation of the Deep-Fried Twinkie. But that fad is so last-August. Americans want something newer, something bigger, something that takes deep-frying to the edge and then over the edge and then across a verdant meadow and right up to a second, edgier edge.

That’s why Adipose Industries (a child corporation of defective yeti Foods and Lockheed Martin Aeronautics) is pleased to introduce

Deep-Fried Deep-Fried Twinkies!

And Coming Soon from Adipose Industries:

• Chocolate-Covered Deep-Fried Deep-Fried Twinkies

• Pork-Flavored Chocolate-Covered Deep-Fried Deep-Fried Twinkies

• Deep-Fried Pork-Flavored Chocolate-Covered Deep-Fried Deep-Fried Twinkies
Adipose Industries’ revolutionary secret process is to take a traditional deep-fried Twinkie and deep-fry it, adding a patented second layer of oil and batter to this already delicious, nutrient-free treat! You’d have to eat 730 bowls of Total to get the same caloric content as a single Deep-Fried Deep-Fried Twinkie– that’s enough energy to power your SUV to the moon … and back!

But don’t just take our word for it: “American Glutton Monthly” ranked the Deep-Fried Deep-Fried Twinkie #4 in their 2002 “Excellence In Corpulence” issue! And “Eating Well” magazine called it “an abhorrence”!

So drive, don’t run, to your nearest county fair, and experience all the seizure-inducing excitement this fat-tactular snack has to offer!

Deep-Fried Deep-Fried Twinkies
It’s like Armageddon … For Your Mouth!™

5 thoughts to “Lipidalooza”

  1. i’m still waiting to see my favorite snack mentioned here–deep fried sticks of butter with a side of mayonnaise-egg yolk aoli.

  5. I laughed the whole way through, on the point of tears. Then I passed the link on to friends, came back to check that the link worked, and read it again. And it was just as great the second time. (double-read as a parallel to double-deep-fried?)

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