Category: dy

Fifty-Two Weeks of Blah Blah Blah

Matthew 21 Comments

Today is defective yeti’s one year anniversary. How you like them apples?

Keeping a blog for a year was a 2002 New Year’s resolution of mine. My intentions were fivefold:

  • Jot down the assortment of random thoughts that stampede through my mind like tapirs in a Wal*Mart and leave no trace when they vanish immediately thereafter.
  • Write reviews of all the movies I saw in 2002. I can’t for the life of me remember why I thought this was an important thing to do. There’s a good example of a random thought that should have been jotted down.

  • Improve my writing skills by using them on a daily basis.
  • Become an Internet Superstar (or at least create a meme or two).
  • Bore the crap out of you, personally, by droning on and on about my motivation for blogging.
Woohoo: five for five!

Like all bloggers, I am, at heart, a Glutton For Attention, and wouldn’t have been able to accomplish any of the above goals without the knowledge that at least somebody was stopping by from time to time. In other words, the yeti is a monster of your creation as much as it is of mine, you enabler, you. Thanks for reading — I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.

Well, that’s more than enough sincerity for one year. Smarm and wisecrackery will resume on Monday.

Sadly, I was Unable To Evade “Christmas Wrapping” By The Waitresses

Matthew

I have somehow made it to December 23rd without once hearing “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”. I have no idea how I have pulled this off, but my good luck cannot possibly last. I am therefore going to spend the next three days in a hermetically-sealed underground bunker to ensure that 2002 is a 100%-Elmo-And-Patsy-free year. yeti-ations will resume on Boxing Day. Happy Holidays.

Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

Matthew

Okay, I finally gave in and scoured my referrer logs for strange Google requests. Some of my favorites:

This old page gets a ton of hits from people trying to Lose Weight Fast! I’d feel guilty if I could stop laughing.

Share the Wealth

Matthew 15 Comments

Great Grandmother of Cher, there’s a brief article about me at Salon.com and defective yeti has been MetaFiltered. Why? Because of the Internet community’s insatiable yen for more people who blog about their cats? No, ostensibly because this lil’ bit o’ the funny somehow turned into One Of Those Things That People At My Office Are Forever Forwarding To Me With The Subjectline “Monday Funnies LOL!!!!”. The real reason, of course, is simply because I won The Great Weblog Lottery. Like a regular lottery, The Great Weblog Lottery confers upon some undeserving schmoe a veritable windfall for no fathomable reason. (Although unlike a regular lottery, said schmoe cannot then purchase a miniature golf course).

The windfall in The Great Weblog Lottery is publicity, which is to a blogger’s ego what nitroglycerine is to a campfire. But if I learned anything from the Spider-Man movie it’s that with great power comes an inability to hook up with Kirsten Dunst, along with a wheelbarrel full of guilt. So despite the fact that 94% of my new visitors never made it through the first paragraph (see above), I would kindly ask that the remaining 6% please check out some of the equally worthy blogs listed below; blogs that are little-known but just as deserving of an increased readership.

Dog Door of Death
Kafkaesque
Clark Hornbell
Bruce Hartman
Kenneth Hunt
Speedy Snail
Jerry Kindall
Amphiskios
Organic Mechanic
If you know of a relatively unknown but nonetheless enjoyable blog, feel free to mention it in the comments. (In fact, here’s one from the comments that I am hereby adding to the list: Mimi Smartypants.)

P.s. If I win the actual lottery none of you bastard is getting a dime, so don’t even ask.