For Every Season, Turn, Turn

Reasons To Lament The Passing of Summer	Reasons To Celebrate the Advent of Winter
Can no longer drink ale with lemon in it without looking like a nancyboy	Can begin drinking stout with the viscosity of motor oil and the alcohol content of brandy without looking like a drunk
Realization that I have gone another year without once riding my bicycle to work	Realization that I again have the opportunity to become an avid snowshoer
No more warm days	Opportunity to swaddle scrawny frame in layers of bulky clothing
Possibility of snow	Possibility of getting out of work due to snow
Can no longer barbecue	Can begin using fireplace
Fewer daylight hours makes running in the evening more difficult	May now dismiss excess 10 lbs. as “winter weight”
No more baseball	No more wasting 10+ hours a week watching baseball
Wife and cat become moody due to lack of sunshine	[There is no upside to this]
Impending holiday season brings with it an onslaught on unchecked consumerism	Unchecked consumerism results in my receiving presents
Goodbye, women wearing sundresses	Hello, women wearing sweaters

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