My New Year’s Resolutions, As Dictated By Spam Subject Lines

To Do in 2003:

Embrace energy markets
Reverse the aging process
Get a huge penis
Order perscription drugs online
Investigate enemies
Lose ten pounds in seven days
Make a fortune on Ebay
See Britney Spears naked
Know the HGH difference
Attract the opposite sex
Get a MBA
Register to win
Get paid to eat snacks
Chat with sexy girls
Earn $50,000
Send bulk email
Do it all night and stay hard
Never work again

Jeeze. I have a busy year ahead of me.