I’m A-Start Some Drama

Matthew Conversations, Favorite Posts, The Queen

I walked into the kitchen this morning to find The Queen groggily gathering coffee-making accoutrements.

“Wha’cha gonna do wit all dat junk?” I asked her. “All dat junk inside yo trunk?”

She scowled at me as a reminder of the household’s “no conversation before caffeine” rule, but then asked, “What are you saying?”

“No no, that was all wrong” I said, disappointed. “You are supposed to reply …” — I switched to falsetto — “… I

80 thoughts to “I’m A-Start Some Drama”

  1. check it out.

    I’m beginning to think that this song isn’t actually bad. It’s something else entirely. Bad stuff can just be dismissed, but this song is different. It’s extremely effective at penerating our defenses and lodging itself somewere internally, like a virus. It mutates and infects your thoughts for the few next hours, or days.

    Following the slate article I went to video.google and watched an embarassing number of those amateur home videos. girls getting retarted to this song, as encouraged by another black eyes song that is actually good.

    Maybe this song isn’t actually any different than the old Two Live Crew songs, which though bad, were fun and have their legitimate place in pop culture. I just wish someone would invent a cure to knock this thing out of me.

  2. I went to a karaoke Christmas party last weekend (oh, yes, they exist) and that song was performed by my friends. They still don’t understand why I left without saying good-bye.

  3. Well, if the lyrics are accurate, then I’m somewhat relieved. I’ve been thinking it’s, “my lovely LADY lumps,” which is considerably worse.

  6. According to the lyrics, it’s “little lumps” in the first verse and “lady lumps” in every verse thereafter. I just upatded my post because I’m sure I said “lady lumps” in my redition for The Queen, as I was angling for maximum awful-ocity.

  8. This is possibly the best dialogue I’ve seen in quite awhile. I love that you just sang that song to your wife. Love it!

  9. Oh, god. See, because then you start thinking about it, about which lumps we’re talking about. It could be any number of lumps, most of which are lady-specific. And then you never want to put on jeans again, but you know you can’t live the rest of your life without wearing jeans. And then you cry softly.

  10. KDWB in Minneapolis had a contest to see who could get their Grandma’s to come in to the station and karaoke the “My Humps” song the best. The winner got to go backstage to interview Gwen Stefani.
    I’m thinking I’m missing the tie-in there, but oh well. Their website has a link to the winning Grandma singing it.

  11. I’ve never heard that song and I’d like to keep it that way. That’s why I never listen to the radio, only my own hand-picked music on my iPod and CDs.

  12. I had to look up the lyrics yesterday to make sure I was getting them right in my comment. I then took about thirty screen shots of various stuff for a presentation I’m working on. Only this morning did I realize my Google search bar said “my humps, lyrics” in every shot.

  13. Well, I own the album. I know all the words. I was mildly amused the first time I heard this one. Then it got stuck in my head. Please note this was more then six months ago when I first heard this particular song. It does not get better. It does not remove itself from your mind. No. Instead, it wedges itself more firmly into every synaptic response your brain dares to create.

    You’re all doomed.

  14. Am I the only one who can’t stop thinking of cancer when the lady lumps line comes up?

    I am?

    I’m so sorry.

  15. To me it doesnt become truly appalling in quality until the part about “all dem breassss inside dat shirt”

    It doesn’t even rhyme. If it was “all dem breasss up on dat chesssst” then I could give it a pass.

  16. Bah! I’m laughing my hump off reading these comments. Personally, I perfer the other song on this album where you randomly shout “Phillipino!” throughout the rap. That’s right..go ahead and check it out. I’ll wait.

  17. I actually had not heard this song until a few hours ago, when I just had to check it out (for some reason, it kept being mentioned everywhere I looked.)

    I am astonished, appalled, and a bunch of other things. And has anyone else noticed that, um, Fergie is *scary* looking?

    I don’t own a TV. This is all new to me. I’m scared.

  21. Point of order: proper usage of the improper usage of “I’m going to start” –> “I’m gonna start” –> “I’ma start”. Not “I’m a-start”, which is the wrong way to say “I’m a*s tart”, whatever THAT means. Unless that’s what you meant.

  23. It’s a lot like The Davinci Code; if someone tells you they like it or love it, you know you aren’t going to miss any great music advice if you let your mind wander while talking to them.

  25. First, my husband imposes a “no conversation before caffeine” rule at our home, too. Which means I have nobody to sing to in the morning.

    Second,

    I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
    Milky, milky cocoa,
    Mix your milk with my cocoa puff,
    milky, milky riiiiiiight.

  27. And now I’ve listened to it. I had to, ‘cos I couldn’t accept it could be as bad as it sounds.
    And now I’m sticking it on a cd to play to all my trainees at work. That cures it, right? Better than just passing to one person? It’ll make it all go away? Help me forget?

    Curse you Baldwin. Curse you to heck.

  28. dude – i can’t beleive you did that to your lady BEFORE she got her morning coffee. that’s just … gawd! there aren’t words.

    funny as hell though. ;p

  30. The b/f insists on serenading me with that atrocity, in a falsetto as well, at least twice a day. That and the Lonely Goatherd song from the Sound of Music. I can’t decide if it’s endearing or irritating.

  31. Late one night in Grande Prairie me and my pack got on to a Greyhound bus. Early the next morning we got off the bus and boarded a shuttle to the airport. As usual after a night on the night bus, I was in a strange headspace, watching the first sunlight give the back passages of Edmonton a weird clarity. And then the stone faced driver turned on the radio. I had just spent the summer living in a tent in the bush. I didn’t know what was coming. I didn’t know what to do. I looked left and right at the dozey business travellers around me, but they weren’t reacting. Had this become the norm while I was away? Was every radio I touched going to sound like this from now on? I wanted to laugh about it but I couldn’t. What had happened to the world I understood? What ABOUT HER HUMPS? WHAT ABOUT THEM? OH GOD I remember it too clearly for any sort of comfort. Excuse me.

  33. My girlfriend would like to be in a support group with The Queen, because I have decided (rightly!) that singing My Humps to her is the most fun we can have as a couple.

  34. You have to watch the video and listen to all the words before you can feel the full effect.

    And this makes me laugh because I passed it on to my husband just the other day…but now I’m wondering: Who’s HE going to pass it on to?

  35. Um, wow. I was just on Amazon today internally lamenting the fact that, being an expat, I am totally isolated from new cool Western music here and have to buy compilations of the grammy winners or the pathetic “NOW That’s What I Call Music” variety to hear just a sampling even…

    But I’m not so sad anymore right now.

    (followed a link from PennyPressed to your Seattle snow post, fyi, and I’m having some great laughs as I look around.)

  36. I love that blog post! Maybe the song was produced kind of like the play in “The Producers” was produced-to be a horrible flop. The record company might have said ‘of the songs on your album, you must produce one for video’ so they picked that one so their record company would drop them like Mariah Carey and pay them to leave. I like the black eyed peas, though.

  41. Dear Mr. Yeti:

    Based upon your post above, I decided to check out the song and video you referenced, thinking it could not possibly be that bad. My lawyer will be contacting you shortly to discuss punitive damages.

  45. I get that line about “all that junk in your trunk” from my husband first thing in the morning and last thing at night, too.

    I’m tempted to reply, “You tell me, cause you’re the one who put it there. Remember that kid of yours that I had?”

    Before coffee, it comes out as “Ghanhghhhhangh.”

  46. My cure for songs stuck in my head (I think they’re called earworms):

    I once had “Dancing Barefoot” by Patti Smith stuck in my head on and off for a year. I bought the CD, and now when it flares up I pop the CD in and listen to it a couple of times and it goes away. However, this means that you actually have to financially support the creaters of the music. It will only encourage them.

  47. Oh god, C, I had La Isa Bonita in my head pretty solidly for a year. Combine this with a blistering case of insommnia and you have a recipe for insanity. I think Dancing Barefoot would do the same.

  48. I’ll tell what song is like the Ring: We Built This City by Starship. After hearing it, you never look at the world the same again.

  49. The song is beyond horrible, and what compelled me to delete the CD from my hdd last July. Since declaring it the “most vapid pop song ever recorded” (lofty title if I ever heard one) it seems to be haunting me. Last week I was followed everywhere by it, three times in a row there were little chav-ettes shrieking the entire song on the bus.

    I am a decidedly non-violent individual, and I know I have sung the entire Tenacious D catalogue while drunkenly riding the tube, but there should be some sort of legal permission made for people who sing my lumps in a vessel that prohibits escape.

  50. I’m dying here…I think my coworkers may think there is something wrong with me I’m laughing so hard.

    btw, the scientic term for these songs is “earworm”, there was actually a report on NPR this summer about these songs which you just cannot shake from your head.

Comments are closed.