- Neighborhood lemonade stand is charging $1 a cup. Those kids are gonna grow up to be an Exxon executives. June 14, 12:30 PM
- While in a bar I mentioned I was writing a screenplay; cute girl overheard and totally checked me out. Memo to self: tell that lie more often. June 15, 12:53 PM
- There ain’t no problem that alcohol can’t solve. Except alcoholism, I guess. Or a housefire. June 17, 09:00 AM
- A single trip to the dentist dispels the notion that intelligence played any factor in our design. June 18, 11:47 AM
- These new slacks my wife bought me make my ass look awesome! Also, the pockets are weird. I’m 65% certain they are women’s apparel. June 24, 11:07 AM
6 thoughts to “Recent Tweets”
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Beg to differ. Beer and wine solve fires quite nicely. You need about 40% or so alcohol content for flameage to occur.
But I can think of much better uses for both of them.
Ok, and also for the 40%+ stuff.
hmm the bee sting one repeated … lol how many times did you get stung ?
Regarding “While in a bar I mentioned I was writing a screenplay.”
The Office called. They want their joke back.
I used to carry a quarter with me when I ran. I could use it for an emergency phone call or to buy a cup of lemonade on a summer day.
I guess I should start carrying a credit card, eh?
Lemonade at $1 a cup? Geesh. Damn biofuels.